Television
TV schedule Wednesday 12th February 2020
Two On The Tiles
A husband and wife are blackmailed by their butler with evidence of separate nights out.
Twirlywoos
Series 1, Episode 7 - All GoneThe Twirlywoos watch a lady decorating some cakes. When they see her tidying the decorations away, it gives them the idea to put the cakes away too.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 27 - Freewheelin'It's the famous Beanotown Freewheeler Derby! During practice, the gang realise Walter's go-cart is especially speedy. Worried that Walter will beat his record, Dennis creates a lighter, faster cart but loses control and injures himself. It is up to Rubi's wheelchair know how and Dennis' carting skills to win the race.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 24 - Caring BeanMrs Wicket is injured and Mr Bean has to look after her - then her demands start to become a pain.
Danger Mouse
Series 2, Episode 15 - Gold FlingerQuark tricks Danger Mouse into transporting a ticking timebomb back to earth.
As Time Goes By
Series 4, Episode 6 - The Anniversary PartyJean and Lionel are now officially engaged, and relationships are brought to the fore at Stephen and Penny's anniversary party.
Bitz & Bob
Series 2, Episode 1 - Bitz's Big BuildBitz promises to build a strong house for Little Bo Purl's goats and for the three little pigs, one that big bad Robo Wolf can't blow down.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 25 - Opera BeanMr Bean's car has broken down and he is late meeting Irma at the opera. Bean finally arrives, but is refused entry because of his filthy attire. Forced to borrow some clothes from the local launderette, Bean is mistaken for the star of the show, and ends up on the stage giving the operatic performance of a lifetime!
Danny & Mick
Series 1, Episode 8 - Birthday SurpriseDanny is convinced it's Joy's birthday, he sets about organising a surprise party that'll surprise everybody - especially Joy!
2point4 Children
Series 8, Episode 3 - Sticky FingersJenny brings her boyfriend, Keith, home from university for the weekend. With Declan staying, an incident with a runaway piano, and Bill and Rona's kitchen needing reflooring, what could possibly go wrong?
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 14 - Cheddar Gorge, EnglandGlitch fills Cheddar Gorge with a river of melted cheese, turning it into a giant cheese fondue. Can the Go Jetters rescue the tourists and sheep from the cheesiest glitch ever?
Class Dismissed
Series 1, Episode 12 - End Of TermIt's the end of term. Excitement spreads throughout the school as mess, mayhem and mucus abound - and that's just the teachers.
Justin's House
Series 2, Highlights Special - Pie CamLittle Monster has a brilliant new invention that helps everyone laugh all over again at some of the messiest times in Justin's house.
Still Open All Hours
Series 4, Episode 3Mr Newbold has decided to barricade his house against Mrs Featherstone, but Granville is sure he would not be so keen to avoid her if he knew all about her past.
The Darling Buds Of May
Series 1, Episode 3 - When The Green Woods Laugh (Part 1)Now that Mariette is going to marry Charley the tax inspector, Ma starts making plans for a lavish wedding. But has Pop overreached himself with his offer for a stately home?
Touch And Go
Jim makes a sudden decision to emigrate to Australia after a row with his boss.
Minder
Series 1, Episode 1 - Gunfight At The O.K. LaundretteTerry finds himself caught up in a robbery of the week's takings at the O.K. Laundrette. Whilst he attempts to talk round the armed gang in an overnight hostage situation, Arthur's more interested in drumming up publicity.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 4, Episode 3 - Empty SaddlesFred Quilly's horses are tired. Fred suggests more oats; Joe Maplin - the knackers' yard. Peggy, Ted and all the staff rally round to protect Fred and his horses with unexpected results.
Timmy Time
Series 1, Episode 15 - Timmy Goes BangAfter hearing thunder during a storm, Timmy becomes fixated by loud noises, banging anything he can find.
Twirlywoos
Series 4, Episode 3 - More About DownThe Twirlywoos watch two men carry some furniture down the stairs in a block of flats.
Sooty
Series 3, Episode 4 - Wild Wild WestIt's cowboy festival time at Slaters but the actor playing Big Bad Pete has not turned up for the water pistol shootout. Guest starring Peter Andre.
That's My Boy
Series 1, Episode 3 - Happy Birthdays RobertThere is confusion about which day is Robert's birthday as it appears that it is not the one he thinks it is - and Ida should know!
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 25th and 26th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 2, Episode 6Onslow celebrates his birthday. Reluctantly, Daisy invites Hyacinth - and equally reluctantly, Hyacinth accepts. She's far keener, however, when she learns Rose's new boyfriend - a businessman - will pick her up in his limousine.
Still Open All Hours
Series 4, Episode 3Mr Newbold has decided to barricade his house against Mrs Featherstone, but Granville is sure he would not be so keen to avoid her if he knew all about her past.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 4, Episode 3 - Empty SaddlesFred Quilly's horses are tired. Fred suggests more oats; Joe Maplin - the knackers' yard. Peggy, Ted and all the staff rally round to protect Fred and his horses with unexpected results.
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 12 - LongerThe Twirlywoos watch a baker rolling out a baguette, and get carried away when they try it for themselves. In the Boat, the Tea Machine is behaving oddly - the spout keeps on growing longer!
dinnerladies
Series 1, Episode 6 - NightshiftWith Tony too ill to come into work, and his cover so bad-mannered, ill-tempered, horrible and bossy that everyone save Brenda walks out, it's not the best time to have to be open for a rare night shift!
Shakespeare & Hathaway - Private Investigators
Series 3, Episode 8 - All That GlistersFrank and Lu find themselves puzzling through the world of enigmatology, becoming podcasters and investigating a mysterious car accident that killed a young mother.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 2, Episode 6Onslow celebrates his birthday. Reluctantly, Daisy invites Hyacinth - and equally reluctantly, Hyacinth accepts. She's far keener, however, when she learns Rose's new boyfriend - a businessman - will pick her up in his limousine.
Lovejoy
Series 6, Episode 5 - Guns And RosesLovejoy takes a valuable gun to a famous gunsmith whose Soho shop is now the target of unscrupulous landlords. But the gun is stolen and Lovejoy's dinnerwith Charlotte is interrupted by the police who arrive in force to arrest him.
Dad's Army
Series 4, Episode 10 - The TestHodges challenges the Home Guard to a game of cricket, but what Mainwaring does not know is that Hodges is getting a professional to play for the ARP. Of course, Hodges might not need his star ringer if Mainwaring's poor skills are anything to go by.
Minder
Series 1, Episode 2 - Bury My Half At Waltham GreenArthur farms out Terry's services to a newly-released con. Unfortunately for Terry he's none-too-bright, and has some old associates really rather keen on getting back in touch.
Shaun The Sheep
Series 2, Episode 28 - Zebra Ducks Of The SerengetiAfter getting covered in soot, two hapless ducks are mistaken for a pair of rare African Zebra Ducks. Seeing a way to make money, the farmer transforms Shaun's field into an exotic duck enclosure, which he gleefully opens to the public. Shaun doesn't appreciate losing his field and sets about exposing the fraud.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 33 - Gnome Sweet GnomeLuke and Resus find an old map of Scream Street and start putting together the pieces of a sinister 3D puzzle, which turns out to be a garden gnome - but an evil one that has a wicked agenda.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 25th and 26th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 3 - A Whaley Good TimeFuzzypeg eats the Spuds' fish supper and Dave has to catch another. Things look up when he hooks something, but it turns out to be a whale.
Danny & Mick
Series 1, Episode 8 - Birthday SurpriseDanny is convinced it's Joy's birthday, he sets about organising a surprise party that'll surprise everybody - especially Joy!
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 4 - Born FreeGeorge takes Dave on an adventure camping, but Dave isn't sure it's a great idea. He's proved right when they both wake up in a bear's cave.
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 15 - Mountain Gorillas, The Democratic Republic Of The CongoThe Go Jetters race to save a family of mountain gorillas from traps left by hunters and also from a sneezy Grandmaster Glitch's germs.
Gigglebiz
Series 5, Episode 8 - Keith Fitt's Dancing RecordEverybody's dancing! Keith Fitt attempts a dancing world record, Arthur Sleep plays musical statues, and Rapids Johnson boogies with a bear.
Folly To Be Wise
A repeat of this 1953 film.
Waffle The Wonder Dog
Series 2, Episode 13 - Waffle And The FleasThe Brooklyn-Bells call on Mrs Hobbs to persuade her not to move house, only to find that her cat, George, has fleas. They offer to help and discover a secret about Mrs Hobbs.
Bread
Series 4, Episode 2Aveline brings Oswald home and he finds a family in chaos when they all show him their true colours! Adrian is accepted as a male model after a less than impressive interview and Shifty is back to his old ways ...
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 2, Episode 1 - If Wet - In The BallroomThe staff are at their wits' end. Rain has been tumbling down for days and they have practically exhausted their repertoire of indoor amusements.
The Vicar Of Dibley
Series 3, Episode 4 - SummerWhen could be worse to suffer more than a fortnight without running water, than during a summer heatwave? It's all down to demand in the region, and fortunately the water company have a plan to resolve it. It'll make millionaires of some Dibley residents, but have long-reaching consequences.
QI
Series M, Episode 16 - MisconceptionsWith Chris Addison, Sara Cox, Sue Perkins, and joining them and Alan Davies for one last time, Stephen Fry in his farewell appearance as host.
As Time Goes By
Series 5, Episode 2 - Lionel's Ex-WifeLionel receives an unexpected letter from his ex-wife, Margaret, and a meeting leaves all parties in a state of shock!
Our Man In Marrakesh
Comedy-spy-thriller starring Tony Randall, Herbert Lom, Terry-Thomas and Senta Berger.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 24 - Caring BeanMrs Wicket is injured and Mr Bean has to look after her - then her demands start to become a pain.
Still Open All Hours
Series 4, Episode 3Mr Newbold has decided to barricade his house against Mrs Featherstone, but Granville is sure he would not be so keen to avoid her if he knew all about her past.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 25 - Opera BeanMr Bean's car has broken down and he is late meeting Irma at the opera. Bean finally arrives, but is refused entry because of his filthy attire. Forced to borrow some clothes from the local launderette, Bean is mistaken for the star of the show, and ends up on the stage giving the operatic performance of a lifetime!
Horrible Histories
Series 8, Episode 8 - Putrid PoliticsDani Dyer becomes Rattus's political advisor for tales of parliamentary people and plots.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 28, Episode 3 - Variations On A Theme Of Road RageHoward gets a bargain when he buys a used car.
Dad's Army
Series 4, Episode 10 - The TestHodges challenges the Home Guard to a game of cricket, but what Mainwaring does not know is that Hodges is getting a professional to play for the ARP. Of course, Hodges might not need his star ringer if Mainwaring's poor skills are anything to go by.
Dad's Army
Series 4, Episode 11 - A. Wilson (Manager)?Captain Mainwaring is horrified to learn that Wilson has not just been made the manager of his own branch of the bank, but that he has been promoted to Second Lieutenant of the Eastgate platoon.
Porridge
A selection of episodes from the third series of the prison based sitcom.
The Royle Family
Series 1, Episode 1It's just 6 weeks until Denise and Dave's wedding day, and Jim's scrutinising the bills closely. Who on Earth has been making phone calls to Aberdeen...?
Good Omens
Series 1, Episode 5 - The Doomsday OptionAziraphale and Crowley race towards Tadfield airbase as they attempt to prevent Adam and the Four Horsemen from beginning the apocalypse. But one has been discorporated and the other is trapped in a flaming motorway. Will they get there in time?
Live At The Apollo
Series 9, Episode 2 - Jack Dee, Seann Walsh, Milton JonesJack Dee is joined by special guests Seann Walsh and Milton Jones.
The Big Fat Quiz Of The Year
Episode 24 - The Big Fat Quiz Of The DecadeJimmy Carr presents this super-sized edition of the annual quiz, looking back over the past 10 years. Claudia Winkleman, Nish Kumar, Joe Lycett, Alan Carr, Stacey Solomon and Jonathan Ross battle it out to prove who can remember the most about the decade, with questions including why was lasagna big news in 2013? Who squeezed through a hole in the wall in 2015? And what are Pikachu's friends called? Big Fat regulars Jon Snow and Charles Dance help set the questions.
Good Omens
Series 1, Episode 5 - The Doomsday OptionAziraphale and Crowley race towards Tadfield airbase as they attempt to prevent Adam and the Four Horsemen from beginning the apocalypse. But one has been discorporated and the other is trapped in a flaming motorway. Will they get there in time?
dinnerladies
Series 2, Episode 1 - CateringIt's Friday 9th April 1999, the date to conceive a 'millennium baby'. Whilst Tony attempts to humour a rather dim-witted work-experience girl, Bren's main concern is having workmen in to paint the canteen without closing for the duration.
Romesh: Talking To Comedians
Episode 3 - In A Pie And Mash ShopRomesh hangs out in a Pie and Mash shop to unearth the comedians' biggest fears, anxieties and cringe-worthy moments, whilst they remember early beginnings and ultimately why they do what they do. With Mo Gilligan, Lolly Adefope, Rob Beckett, Rachel Parris, Tom Allen and Sally Phillips.
Live At The Apollo
Series 13, Episode 4 - Henning Wehn, Lucy Porter, Guz KhanIn this episode, the eccentric Henning Wehn introduces to the stage the delightful Lucy Porter and the hilarious Guz Khan.
Hypothetical
Series 2, Episode 2Josh Widdicombe and James Acaster pose more silly scenarios to Richard Ayoade, Sindhu Vee, Ed Gamble and Chloe Petts.
Home
Series 2, Episode 2Now he's back in Dorking, Sami is determined to be part of the local community, so his friend Raj invites him to enter the Dorking Marmalade Festival. Meanwhile, Katy walks into a sticky situation of her own at school that makes Peter's promotion at work all the more important.
Celebrity Juice
Series 15, Episode 6The guests this week are TV presenter Zoe Ball, actor Danny Dyer and X Factor 2015 finalists Reggie 'n' Bollie.
Bottom
Series 3, Episode 3 - BreakWith the thought of sun, sea and sex in mind, Eddie and Richie prepare to leave for a holiday in, uh, Bridlington.
Romesh: Talking To Comedians
Episode 3 - In A Pie And Mash ShopRomesh hangs out in a Pie and Mash shop to unearth the comedians' biggest fears, anxieties and cringe-worthy moments, whilst they remember early beginnings and ultimately why they do what they do. With Mo Gilligan, Lolly Adefope, Rob Beckett, Rachel Parris, Tom Allen and Sally Phillips.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 18 (Channel 4: Series 19), Episode 5Jimmy Carr hosts as Sean Lock and Kevin Bridges take on Jon Richardson and Victoria Coren Mitchell in the classic words-and-numbers quiz. Regular Countdown maths whizz Rachel Riley and words guru Susie Dent are on hand to adjudicate, with Susie joined in Dictionary Corner by Spencer Jones.
A League Of Their Own
European Road Trip 2, Out-takes - UnseenThe challenges may be over and the tightrope has been walked, but you still haven't seen everything that Jamie and Freddie got up to on their latest jaunt through the continent. There're extra laughs, pranks and wind-ups as the boys present some unseen clips from their raucous road trip.
Women On The Verge
Episode 2Laura feels elated after her first therapy session. Alison's nervous about dinner with Martin's parents and in a bid to take the heat off her, she persuades Laura and Katie to come along.
The State Of It
Episode 5 - SeshGet some tunes on and crack open your carry out because this week's The State Of It delves deep into the sesh.
Peep Show
Series 9, Episode 5 - Kid FarmJeremy and Super Hans come to blows over the rights to a music track.
Roast Battle
Series 4, Episode 4It's a battle of the North as Adam Rowe and Maisie Adam go in on each other's appearances. Don't underestimate the next battlers, when softer spoken Phil Wang takes on feisty Fern Brady. Joe Lycett is the guest judge.
The Ricky Gervais Show
Series 1, Episode 3Ricky Gervais, Stephen Merchant and Karl Pilkington cover a range of pointless topics, including the problems over donating goats to African families, space travel and Karl's preferred super power.
QI
Series B, Christmas Special - BirthSpecial Christmas episode with Mark Steel, Phill Jupitus and Rich Hall.
Britain's Best Loved Sitcoms
Episode 1Channel 4 has commissioned a new poll to find Britain's best loved sitcom. Tamsin Greig narrates as we look at sitcoms old and new to find which one is the most loved.
Scotland Unsolved
Episode 2This episode sees the tecs getting their claws into Scotland's growing big cat phenomenon, sinking their teeth into a 1950s vampire sighting on Glasgow Green, and shining a spotlight on the creepy hauntings of His Majesty's Theatre in Aberdeen.
Peep Show
Series 9, Episode 6 - Are We Going To Be Alright?The El Dude Brothers are bowing out on a high - a strange, complicated and definitely slightly illegal - high.
Your Face Or Mine
A selection of episodes from the second series of the series presented by Jimmy Carr and Katherine Ryan.
The Royle Family
Series 1, Episode 1It's just 6 weeks until Denise and Dave's wedding day, and Jim's scrutinising the bills closely. Who on Earth has been making phone calls to Aberdeen...?
Jason Manford Live
TV broadcast of Jason Manford's return to the stage with his 2011 live tour, recorded at the MEN Arena.
8 Out Of 10 Cats Does Countdown
Series 12 (Channel 4: Series 13), Episode 4Jimmy Carr hosts a new edition of the panel/quiz show mash-up. In this episode, Jon Richardson and Joe Lycett take on Sean Lock and Michelle Wolf, with Adam Riches in Dictionary Corner.
Mock The Week
Series 13, Episode 1Milton Jones, Ed Byrne, Katherine Ryan and Romesh Ranganathan join the regular cast for the familiar mix of games and topical banter that "makes Mock The Week as reliable as a UKIP expenses claim and as much a part of summer as English sporting failure and mutant animal tabloid scare stories".
The Russell Howard Hour
Series 3, Episode 11Join Russell as he unpicks the week's news, interviews comedian Guz Khan about the new series of sitcom Man Like Mobeen, and chats to Hollywood star Jim Carrey.
Bottom
Series 3, Episode 3 - BreakWith the thought of sun, sea and sex in mind, Eddie and Richie prepare to leave for a holiday in, uh, Bridlington.
CelebAbility
Series 4, Episode 4Iain Stirling presents as team captain Stacey Solomon who leads three friends in a series of games against Jenny Ryan, Chelcee Grimes, Dane Baptiste and Greg Shepherd.
Minder
Series 1, Episode 2 - Bury My Half At Waltham GreenArthur farms out Terry's services to a newly-released con. Unfortunately for Terry he's none-too-bright, and has some old associates really rather keen on getting back in touch.
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 3, Episode 7Russell Howard gives his take on some of the key stories of the week as well as highlighting some of the more overlooked items that have caught his eye during his forensic trawl through newspapers, websites, TV and radio shows.
QI
Series M, Episode 16 - MisconceptionsWith Chris Addison, Sara Cox, Sue Perkins, and joining them and Alan Davies for one last time, Stephen Fry in his farewell appearance as host.
Peep Show
Series 9, Episode 5 - Kid FarmJeremy and Super Hans come to blows over the rights to a music track.
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 6, Episode 2Rob Brydon, Emma Bunton and Carol Vorderman join funnyman Lee Mack to challenge more improbable facts. Using whatever wacky means possible, they'll be testing whether parents can tell if their kids are lying, whether you can control someone's hand with your brain and if just one spoonful of olive oil can calm an entire lake.
Peep Show
Series 9, Episode 6 - Are We Going To Be Alright?The El Dude Brothers are bowing out on a high - a strange, complicated and definitely slightly illegal - high.
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 3, Episode 8Russell Howard gives his take on some of the key stories of the week as well as highlighting some of the more overlooked items that have caught his eye during his forensic trawl through newspapers, websites, TV and radio shows.
Spaced
Series 2, Episode 7 - LeavesAfter Daisy's party everyone has split and gone their separate ways. Sophie is going to America, Twist in Manchester and Marsha is selling the house and has gone AWOL. When Tim discovers that even Daisy is leaving town, Mike comes up with a bloody spectacular idea.
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 6, Episode 3Are locals the best people to ask for directions? And can 30,000 jumping up and down cause an earthquake? Pull up a chair as host Lee Mack, The Great British Bake Off's Noel Fielding, and comedians Jason Manford and Roisin Conaty put facts like these to the test.
Josh
Series 2, Episode 4 - Sex & PoliticsAfter an unsuccessful gig, Josh is surprised to be asked out by a very beautiful audience member. What's the catch? Josh, Kate and Owen endeavour to find out. Meanwhile, landlord Geoff faces money problems and introduces Kate to the dizzying world of building management politics.
Richard E. Grant On... Ealing Comedies
Episode 1 - Passport To SuccessRichard traces the history of Ealing Studios, from the Silent Films made at the turn of the century, to the Music Hall comedies of the 30s and a film from the 40s that brought the phrase 'an Ealing Comedy' into the national lexicon - Passport To Pimlico.
Russell Howard & Mum
USA Road Trip - Series 1, Episode 3 - Hip Hopping In AtlantaRussell and his mum find themselves in the Hip Hop Capital of the USA: Atlanta, Georgia. Under the guidance of local legend, Dr. Dax, the Howards attempt to transform themselves into rapping, dancing, graffiti-ing hip hop heroes.
Through The Keyhole
Series 5, Episode 8The star-studded panel for the final episode in this series are presenter Jonathan Ross, TV and radio host Melanie Sykes, and celebrity choreographer Ashley Banjo.
Zapped
Series 1, Episode 1 - Mr WeaverBrian is accidentally transported to Munty by a magical amulet, but before he can use it to get home, it falls into the hands of a criminal mastermind.
Comedy Central At The Comedy Store
Series 5, Episode 10 - Phil Wang At The Comedy StorePhil Wang hosts this evening's show from the legendary Comedy Store in London. Joining him are the side splitting Stephen Bailey, the exceptional Huge Davis and the fabulous Sophie Willan.
The Funny Thing About...
Episode 3 - DatingJohnny Vegas and friends offer an uproariously silly, insightful and frank look at the difficult business of finding love in the 21st century.