Television
TV schedule Tuesday 17th September 2019
The Headless Ghost
A repeat of this 1959 film.
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 21 - More About SpinningThe Twirlywoos visit a school hall. They see a teacher pick up different coloured hoops and set them spinning, so they try to spin hoops themselves.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 22 - Red And Black To The FutureWhen Dennis finds Professor Screwtop's time machine in the lab, he can't resist using it without reading the instructions, and starts a chain of events that lead to Gnashersaurus rex's rampaging through Beanotown! How is Dennis going to set things right without bumping into other versions of himself and destroying the space time continuum?
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 21 - Bog Roll RollIt's the biggest sporting event in Grimsby - the bog roll roll. All Dave has to do is chase the bog roll down the hill and catch it.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 28 - Attack Of The ClownsThis episode is no laughing matter, especially when Danger Mouse's uncontrollable amusement creates clown-invading chaos on Earth - can DM prevent the world from being twisted into a novelty balloon shape?
Lucky Feller
Episode 2 - All The Tea In ChinaShy Shorty plucks up courage to ask his new-found girlfriend Kath out for the evening - and has thought of a place to have a special meal...
Bitz & Bob
Series 2, Episode 17 - Up, Up And AwayIt's the day of the kite festival and first up are Zip and Pop, who dazzle the crowd with their performance.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 22 - Spud-AgeddonThe Spuds don't care about a carbon footprint, since George has come home with a haul of free electronics that they all want to test out.
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 1, Episode 6 - Seven Year HitchFor their seventh wedding anniversary, Peter and Sheila intend to stay in the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon.
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 2 - Hollywood, USAAfter winning a part in a Hollywood film, Glitch is not happy when he has to work with Kyan to finish a scene. Meanwhile, Xuli's plans to take the perfect Hollywood photo are derailed when the Go Jetters are forced to rescue the famous Hollywood sign.
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 2, Episode 3 - Where There's A WillThe Barnes' are forced to deal with Sheila's argumentative family when her aunt dies. After a series of mishaps at the wake and dealing with a grasping vicar, Peter's very surprised to discover that they've been left an old piano.
Justin's House
Series 4, Episode 4 - Secret Sock DetectiveJustin has lost his favourite socks and is convinced that someone in Justin's House must have taken them, he even starts to suspect his trusty friends!
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 1 - The NurseryA nursery is set up for the clippies' children and the Sister in charge requires an assistant. Something surely that even Olive can handle?
Chef!
Series 2, Episode 6 - Private LivesGareth is in the stew this week when it seems his entire kitchen staff have brought their personal problems to work on the same day. With the restaurant fully booked for lunch and dinner, he is willing to play social worker if only to get them all back on the job.
Minder
Series 1, Episode 9 - Monday Night FeverArthur takes a shine to a tone-deaf singer, giving Terry some difficulties to sort on the nightclub scene.
Sooty
Series 1, Episode 25 - The Marching BandRichard is preparing a show that will blow everything away and the gang are desperate to take part. But what can Sweep do? With his bagpipes and batons causing nothing but trouble, Sooty comes up with some mischief of his own.
On The Buses
Series 5, Episode 2 - Stan's RoomUnable to get a moment's peace with clippie Doreen, Stan argues with his mother's rules and meddling and decides to move out. But only one room is near his price range - and Blakey is the landlord!
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 12 - LongerThe Twirlywoos watch a baker rolling out a baguette, and get carried away when they try it for themselves. In the Boat, the Tea Machine is behaving oddly - the spout keeps on growing longer!
As Time Goes By
Series 8, Episode 4 - Surprising NewsJean's sister-in-law Penny and her dentist husband Stephen return from their holiday with some rather surprising news.
Rising Damp
Series 2, Episode 7 - Things That Go Bump In The NightCould rumours of the Grey Lady who haunts the house, be true? Rigsby certainly believes so, although he has not seen her - yet.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 28th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
The Darling Buds Of May
Series 2, Episode 6 - A Season Of Heavenly Gifts (Part 2)Pop is still sitting on a horde of cash - but whose money is it? Marcus Cope is determined to find it and stop Charley buying the hop garden. Montgomery is unhappy at naval college, but the Brigadier thinks he has a solution.
All For Mary
Comedy about two Englishmen who fall in love with the same woman during a holiday in the Swiss alps.
2point4 Children
Series 6, Episode 5 - The Man Who Knew Too MuchBen's 38th birthday is approaching, leaving him rather depressed about his increasing years. Relief is soon offered, however, in the form of the Purple Plug.
The Ladykillers
Classic Ealing comedy starring Alec Guinness and Peter Sellers. A gang of robbers meet their match in a little old lady.
Chef!
Series 2, Episode 6 - Private LivesGareth is in the stew this week when it seems his entire kitchen staff have brought their personal problems to work on the same day. With the restaurant fully booked for lunch and dinner, he is willing to play social worker if only to get them all back on the job.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 49 - Pizza BeanMr Bean orders a takeaway pizza, but when it arrives he feels let down by the size of it. So he sets out to bake his own unique Teddy-shaped pizzas. Under the name Pizza Bean, his pizzas become extremely popular and very soon business is booming. Then rival pizza producer Don Crustyoni sees his profits plummeting and decides to make Mr Bean an offer he cannot refuse.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 50 - The PhotographMr Bean needs a new passport photograph and goes to incredible lengths to get one.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 1, Episode 4 - The Day Of ReckoningIn the past, ex-jockey Fred Quilly took £300 from a race-gang to pull a horse. He failed to stop his horse winning and is convinced the gang are out for revenge.
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 7 - In And OutThe Twirlywoos cause confusion at the stables when they keep letting a horse out. Back in the Boat, the Twirlywoos have fun bouncing in and out of the Box.
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 1, Episode 2Hyacinth has asked the new vicar to tea and, in her usual meticulous way, she has organised the event down to the last sugar lump. But then suddenly, out of the blue...
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 6 - Apple And Self ServiceSlow apple sales lead to a self-service experiment for the corner shop.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 28th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 10 - Prank WarsDennis discovers that Ralf the janitor is the legendary Prankmaster General and is told he could become his successor. Walter won't let this happen and challenges him to a prank battle to win Ralf's book of pranking - the infamous Prankypedia.
Minder
Series 1, Episode 10 - The Desert SongTerry and Arthur are trying to peddle pickled walnuts when they encounter Charlie, a Greek Cypriot with revenge on his mind, and become involved in the battle for a Greek restaurant.
Scream Street
Series 1, Episode 7 - Mirror MirrorResus feels like he's the family embarrassment, and wishes he was the vampire his parents dreamed of.
Blockbusters
Series 1, Episode 3A celebrity special. Amanda Holden and Alesha Dixon take on David Walliams as the judging panel of BGT compete to win cash for their chosen charities.
Diddy TV
Series 4, Episode 1 - EurodiddyIt's the annual EuroDiddy Song Contest! Also, there's a new episode of Worrying Mum and Dad and a Diddy Chat with Melvin O'Doom.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 23 - Rat PackDave wants to learn to play the drums at school, but is given the recorder. With a talent show around the corner, Dave gets practising.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 24 - Flea ManDave and Fuzzypeg the dog get dirty playing at the local dump, so dirty in fact that Fuzzypeg picks up an extremely grumpy flea.
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 3 - Fatberg, London Sewers, EnglandWhile Lars, Kelly and Xuli go into the sewers to help keep London clean, Glitch and the Grimbots create some enormous blockages after flushing thousands of wet wipes down the toilet. It's up to the Go Jetters to clear away the fatberg Glitch has created, clean the sewers and save the city's streets.
Gigglebiz
Series 4, Episode 9Lovable Humphrey accidentally causes chaos in his local library, and clumsy antiques expert Ann Teak examines a newspaper containing the world's first crossword puzzle.
2point4 Children
Series 6, Episode 5 - The Man Who Knew Too MuchBen's 38th birthday is approaching, leaving him rather depressed about his increasing years. Relief is soon offered, however, in the form of the Purple Plug.
Waffle The Wonder Dog
Series 3, Episode 3 - Waffle The GuestWaffle tries to be a purr-fect house guest for Mrs Hobbs but he misses the Brooklyn-Bells.
Birds Of A Feather
Series 8, Episode 5 - Can't Judge A BookSharon is told to lose weight by the doctor and Dorien changes her image.
Hi-De-Hi!
Series 1, Episode 4 - The Day Of ReckoningIn the past, ex-jockey Fred Quilly took £300 from a race-gang to pull a horse. He failed to stop his horse winning and is convinced the gang are out for revenge.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 7, Episode 4 - Up The Crick Without A PiddleRené and Edith arrive safely in England and are shocked to see a familiar face. Freshly honoured by Churchill, they take a look around London before Edith is heads back to Nouvion - and a major cock-up sends René reluctantly with her...
Keeping Up Appearances
Series 1, Episode 2Hyacinth has asked the new vicar to tea and, in her usual meticulous way, she has organised the event down to the last sugar lump. But then suddenly, out of the blue...
Waiting For God
Series 4, Episode 2Diana and Tom have moved in together. On paper it seems like a mutually beneficial arrangement, but in practice is far from ideal. Someone'll have to give in - eventually! Meanwhile, there's a very quiet new resident at Bayview who's got Diana worried.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 5, Episode 3David Mitchell is joined by David O'Doherty and Katherine Parkinson, and Lee Mack is joined by Bill Turnbull and Louie Spence.
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 5An Incan child has the worst birthday ever, a Roman farmer meets a door-to-door poo salesman, and King George IV embarks on a solo musical career.
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 6 - Apple And Self ServiceSlow apple sales lead to a self-service experiment for the corner shop.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 19, Episode 1 - Beware Of The OglethorpeCompo volunteers for the dangerous task of testing Wesley's latest invention.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 49 - Pizza BeanMr Bean orders a takeaway pizza, but when it arrives he feels let down by the size of it. So he sets out to bake his own unique Teddy-shaped pizzas. Under the name Pizza Bean, his pizzas become extremely popular and very soon business is booming. Then rival pizza producer Don Crustyoni sees his profits plummeting and decides to make Mr Bean an offer he cannot refuse.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 50 - The PhotographMr Bean needs a new passport photograph and goes to incredible lengths to get one.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 5, Episode 4David Mitchell is joined by Gregg Wallace and Nigel Havers, and Lee Mack is joined by Charlie Brooker and Nina Wadia.
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 12 - Man HuntAfter a memo warns the platoon to look out for parachutes, Walker admits to discovering one in the woods some weeks ago. Mainwaring's keen to identify whether the material was British or German, but that's not so easy as it was turned into several dozen pairs of ladies' knickers!
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Episode 3Lee Mack welcomes comedian Jimmy Carr, The Kaiser Chiefs' Ricky Wilson and TV presenter Jameela Jamil to join his fun and fact-filled panel show.
A League Of Their Own
Series 14, Episode 5This week Romesh will be making the short trip from the panel chairs over to the guest host position. Expect more challenges, laughter and banter as Romesh and the gang are joined by Jermaine Jenas, Lauren Steadman, Tom Allen and Rom's comedian chum Rob Beckett.
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 13 - No Spring For FrazerWhen Frazer discovers that the butterfly spring for his Lewis gun has vanished, the platoon must face up to the reality of defending the coast without a machine gun. Unless they can find the piece, that is. Unfortunately, it could very well be inside a coffin - and not unaccompanied!
Porridge
A selection of episodes from the second and third series of the prison-based sitcom.
The Royle Family
Series 2, Episode 1Denise lets slip that she's fallen pregnant. Naturally, there's little else in discussion for the rest of the evening.
8 Out Of 10 Cats
Series 14, Episode 3More facts, polls, figures and laughs. Host Jimmy Carr is once again joined by team captains Sean Lock and Jon Richardson as they discuss the topical events that set the great British public's chins wagging.
Joe Lycett: That's The Way, A-Ha A-Ha, Joe Lycett Live
Stand-up comedy from Joe Lycett in this TV version of his 2016 live show and DVD.
Live At The Apollo
Series 7, Episode 7 - Jason Manford, Jimeoin, Tom StadeJason Manford hosts, with Jimeoin and Tom Stade.
Not Going Out
Series 5, Episode 2 - DadsLee's lazy weekend is wrecked when his scrounging father turns up unexpectedly. Having just come out of hospital he needs somewhere to stay for the weekend. Will Lee take on the demanding role of carer?
Defending The Guilty
Episode 1Will is an idealistic pupil barrister. But his boss doesn't respect him, his clients are all guilty and he is fighting for his job. He is starting to wonder if he has got what it takes.
Taskmaster
Series 9, Episode 2 - Butter In The MicrowaveIt's still very early days in the marathon battle to claim Taskmaster Greg Davies's bold, gold bonce. Ed Gamble gets reckless with a frying pan, Katy Wix asks for a pencil and Jo Brand shares a leisurely sandwich with David Baddiel. Alex Horne is there to log all the important minutiae, which he later presents to Greg in a special private ceremony that no one has ever witnessed.
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 9, Episode 5 - ShaggerCassie and Billy are in lust and she couldn't be happier. Billy, on the other hand, thinks their sex life is affecting his football.
Live At The Apollo
Series 7, Episode 5 - Rich Hall, Andrew Maxwell, Mark WatsonRich Hall hosts with special guests Andrew Maxwell and Mark Watson.
The Two Ronnies
Series 1, Episode 5Henrietta meets Toulouse-Lautrec as Hampton Wick continues. Plus French comedy-eater Chaz Chase, more music, and a visit to a rather confused doctor.
QI
Series D, Christmas Special - DecemberChristmas Special with Dara O'Briain, Rich Hall and Jo Brand.
A League Of Their Own
European Road Trip, Episode 4The teams arrive in Italy for the final leg of the raucous European Road Trip, with last week's guest teammates Geri Horner and Josh Widdicombe returning for moral support.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 5, Episode 3David Mitchell is joined by David O'Doherty and Katherine Parkinson, and Lee Mack is joined by Bill Turnbull and Louie Spence.
The Two Ronnies
Series 1, Episode 6The Frost Report's favourite class sketch is followed up with a look at family life; there's a look at modern trends at parties; and Ronnie Corbett reflects on his start in showbusiness as a top-billing nightclub comic.
Not Going Out
Series 5, Episode 2 - DadsLee's lazy weekend is wrecked when his scrounging father turns up unexpectedly. Having just come out of hospital he needs somewhere to stay for the weekend. Will Lee take on the demanding role of carer?
The Reluctant Landlord
Series 2, Episode 2 - Love & MarriageRomesh and Natasha discover it's possible to spend too much time together, whilst his back pain is unbearable. Meanwhile, Lemon thinks he's found love at a bus stop.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 5, Episode 4David Mitchell is joined by Gregg Wallace and Nigel Havers, and Lee Mack is joined by Charlie Brooker and Nina Wadia.
Early Doors
Series 1, Episode 3Ken is forced to downsize the transport for the Big Boy's Beano, they'll be going in a taxi soon.
Minder
Series 1, Episode 10 - The Desert SongTerry and Arthur are trying to peddle pickled walnuts when they encounter Charlie, a Greek Cypriot with revenge on his mind, and become involved in the battle for a Greek restaurant.
Mock The Week
Topical panel show taking a satirical look at the week's news. Hosted by Dara O Briain with regular player Hugh Dennis.
The Royle Family
Series 2, Episode 1Denise lets slip that she's fallen pregnant. Naturally, there's little else in discussion for the rest of the evening.
The Rob Rinder Verdict
Episode 3Katherine Ryan, Big Narstie, Jamie Laing and Anna Soubry join in the fun as the criminal barrister-turned-host applies his extensive know-how to take a swipe at the news in his own inimitable way.
Have I Got News For You
Series 55, Episode 1Paul Merton and Ian Hislop are joined by guest host Jeremy Paxman and panellists Steph McGovern and Josh Widdicombe.
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 9, Episode 5 - ShaggerCassie and Billy are in lust and she couldn't be happier. Billy, on the other hand, thinks their sex life is affecting his football.
Early Doors
Series 1, Episode 3Ken is forced to downsize the transport for the Big Boy's Beano, they'll be going in a taxi soon.
Russell Howard's Good News
Series 4, Episode 6While it is impossible to know what news will feature in this totally topical show, smart money must be on the forthcoming royal wedding joining the many other major stories going under the Good News spotlight this week.
Zapped
Series 2, Episode 3 - The PartyLooking to make new friends, Brian heads to a trendy - but exclusive - new bar that's opened by Munty docks.
Live At The Apollo
Series 7, Episode 6 - Sarah Millican, Steve Hughes, Russell KaneHost Sarah Millican is joined by Australian funny man Steve Hughes and the award-winning Russell Kane.
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Episode 3Lee Mack welcomes comedian Jimmy Carr, The Kaiser Chiefs' Ricky Wilson and TV presenter Jameela Jamil to join his fun and fact-filled panel show.
Zapped
Series 2, Episode 4 - Pear FairIt's Munty's famous Pear Fair and Herman's favourite time of year. Who knows, The Jug and The Other Jug might even attract some new customers.
As Time Goes By
Series 6, Episode 2 - The PsychotherapistJean has been behaving increasingly strangely of late: triple-checking the girls' work, fussing over clients, and regularly quiet and moody at home. Then there's the furtive visit to Harley Street...
The Balloon Goes Up
Comedy duo Ethel Revnell and Gracie West masquerade as WAAFs on a balloon site and help the authorities capture a group of spies.