Television
TV schedule Friday 13th September 2019
Twirlywoos
Series 3, Episode 17 - More About Next ToThe Twirlywoos watch a waiter set a wedding table in a marquee. The waiter places plates and cutlery next to each other. The Twirlywoos then decide to help out by getting items from outside and placing them next to the plates until there is an entire garden's worth of items on the table. The bride and groom enter and are amazed.
Minder
Series 5, Episode 7 - Hypnotising RitaArthur tries to help a young girl who is being conned by a hypnotherapist over a large sum of money coming to her.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 20 - Why So ClonelyDennis accidentally clones himself and uses his exact opposite clone to do all his chores and abide by the rules at school. All is going to plan until Walter realises what has happened and unleashes a clone cat army on the den!
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 17 - Freeze A Jolly Spud FellowSummer rears its hot, cheeky head in Grimsby but Dave has found a way to keep the Spud flat nice and cool. Maybe too cool.
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 1, Episode 4 - See You In CourtThe Barnes' marital bliss is thrown awry when he's forced to bring his very drunk boss home from an office party. Peter's desperate to bring their relationship back from the brink of divorce.
Danger Mouse
Series 1, Episode 24 - Escape From Big HeadSquawkencluck reboots the Big Head base computer, which immediately locks up everyone in a maximum security prison.
Bitz & Bob
Series 1, Episode 13 - Plipp And ZoppBitz and Bob are on the lookout for spaceships in the Big Hot Sandy Desert when a rocket crash-lands near them.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 18 - ExchangeDave demands to go on a foreign exchange. He soon finds himself headed for a week-long stay in a flat a few doors down.
A Sharp Intake Of Breath
Series 2, Episode 1 - Your MoveSheila's suddenly desperate to move home. She's never been happy living in their current home - apparently! All this is news to Peter, who's forced to engage with local estate agents.
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 14 - Cheddar Gorge, EnglandGlitch fills Cheddar Gorge with a river of melted cheese, turning it into a giant cheese fondue. Can the Go Jetters rescue the tourists and sheep from the cheesiest glitch ever?
Chef!
Series 2, Episode 4 - A Diploma Of MiseriesJanice is furious with Gareth when he doesn't give her any credit on a live television show. And Everton risks his job when he musters the courage to teach his boss a few things about amour.
Justin's House
Series 4, Episode 2 - The DusterlingsRobert has brought four dusters to life to help dust and tidy around Justin's House, but the mischievous Dusterlings soon go rogue, making a mess of the house and tickling anyone that moves.
On The Buses
Series 4, Episode 11 - The LodgerBetween decimalisation and inflation the Butlers are feeling the pinch. Blakey suggests the family take in a lodger - and he happens to know someone who's looking. Unfortunately for Stan, there's no spare bedroom at home...
As Time Goes By
Series 8, Episode 2 - Animal MagnetismJean takes a fancy to a long haired character who only has eyes for Lionel.
Sooty
Series 1, Episode 21 - Pizza To GoSooty and the gang are put in charge of Mr Slater's Pizza Parlour but Soo would rather be a top fashion designer like Valentino Du Prado. Things go from bad to worse in the kitchen as pizzas start flying off the shelves. Perhaps a special visitor can lend a hand? Guest starring Brendan Cole.
On The Buses
Series 4, Episode 10 - Safety FirstStan and Jack's interpretation of new safety regulations for getting buses in and out of the busy depot causes more accidents than they were designed to prevent.
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 10 - TurningThings get out of hand when Chickedy and Chick try to turn the pedals of a bike. The Twirlywoo Screen provides the Twirlywoos with a bike of their own, but it proves difficult to control!
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 27th and 28th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Rising Damp
Series 2, Episode 5 - A Perfect GentlemanRigsby's found a new lodger for the house; the charming gentleman Seymour, staying in town away from his country estate. Philip and Alan aren't quite as convinced of his authenticity though.
The Darling Buds Of May
Series 2, Episode 4 - Stranger At The Gates (Part 2)Charley accidentally discovers that Pieter is German, and suddenly he finds he is no longer welcome. The children can't understand why he had to go, so Pop does his best to explain about the war.
2point4 Children
Series 6, Episode 3 - VertigoBill and Rona pay aunt Belle a visit, and end up inches from falling almost 20 storeys to the ground. Rona's fascination with horoscopes does nothing to help matters.
Chef!
Series 2, Episode 4 - A Diploma Of MiseriesJanice is furious with Gareth when he doesn't give her any credit on a live television show. And Everton risks his job when he musters the courage to teach his boss a few things about amour.
Are You Being Served?
Series 10, Episode 6 - Friends And NeighboursRaising travel costs are causing consternation amongst the staff. Mr. Grace offers them use of his private apartment on the top floor. However, the staff soon discover that they get on far better as colleagues than as flatmates!
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 45 - Birthday PartyMr Bean is feeling down. Everyone has forgotten his birthday - and to make it worse - Mrs Wicket is having a noisy party downstairs.
The Good Life
Series 4, Episode 6 - Sweet And Sour CharityJerry's bid to take over from Sir takes a slight knock, Margo regrettably declines the lead in the play through principle and Tom and Barbara's land becomes polluted with an oil spill from next door. Bad news all round until Jerry's day picks up at the end!
Twirlywoos
Series 2, Episode 5 - Going OverThe Twirlywoos watch a horse going over a jump and try to have a go themselves. Meanwhile, back in the Boat, the Stop-Go Car visits Peekaboo and they play a game of leapfrog.
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 4 - Beware Of The DogA local crime wave scares the wites out of an already security-obsessed Arkwright - there's nothing for it, the shop has to be fortified!
A French Mistress
A repeat of this 1960 film.
Last Of The Summer Wine
A selection of episodes from the 27th and 28th series of Britain's longest-running sitcom.
Dennis & Gnasher Unleashed!
Series 1, Episode 8 - Night Of The Living VegMrs Creecher uses the school's allotment to hold Class 3C's 'Biggest Veg' competition.
Minder
Series 5, Episode 8 - The Balance Of PowerWhen Arthur's used car lot is threatened by a compulsory purchase order, he decides to stand as an independent candidate in the local council by-election.
Diddy TV
Series 3, Episode 9 - The Answer Is Always SausageDiddy Dom explores his past on a pogo stick in Great Pogo Stick Journeys, it's the grand finale of celebrity diving show Splosh, and will someone win the jackpot in TV's easiest gameshow, The Answer is Always Sausage?
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 19 - Bad ComputerGeorge finds a computer called Val but Val has a mind of her own. Soon she's set about uploading embarrassing videos to social media.
The Rubbish World Of Dave Spud
Series 1, Episode 20 - The CoatWhen Dave needs a new coat, Gran kindly suggests she knows a good one by the carpark bin. Dave promptly gets trapped inside the coat and discovers it's past.
Go Jetters
Series 3, Episode 15 - Mountain Gorillas, The Democratic Republic Of The CongoThe Go Jetters race to save a family of mountain gorillas from traps left by hunters and also from a sneezy Grandmaster Glitch's germs.
2point4 Children
Series 6, Episode 3 - VertigoBill and Rona pay aunt Belle a visit, and end up inches from falling almost 20 storeys to the ground. Rona's fascination with horoscopes does nothing to help matters.
Gigglebiz
Series 4, Episode 7Professor Muddles creates a machine to make himself young again, while sports reporter Keith Fitt attempts to break another world record.
Birds Of A Feather
Series 8, Episode 3 - The Maids Of OngarDorien's offer to invest in Sharon and Tracey's business is turned down.
Are You Being Served?
Series 10, Episode 6 - Friends And NeighboursRaising travel costs are causing consternation amongst the staff. Mr. Grace offers them use of his private apartment on the top floor. However, the staff soon discover that they get on far better as colleagues than as flatmates!
Class Dismissed
Series 1, Episode 12 - End Of TermIt's the end of term. Excitement spreads throughout the school as mess, mayhem and mucus abound - and that's just the teachers.
'Allo 'Allo!
Series 7, Episode 2 - An Almighty BangWhen Von Flockenstuffen announces plans for a daring raid to capture Churchill, to be run from the chateau, the Colonel decides it is time to have Von Klinkerhoffen reinstated. Meanwhile, back at the Café, the LeClercs are stuck inside a wall...
Open All Hours
Series 1, Episode 4 - Beware Of The DogA local crime wave scares the wites out of an already security-obsessed Arkwright - there's nothing for it, the shop has to be fortified!
Waiting For God
Series 3, Episode 10After her health scare, Diana's unknowingly reinvigorated her drive for meanness. That should make for an interesting sequence of events, as Sarah arrives and announces she intends to give birth there at Bayview!
The Good Life
Series 4, Episode 6 - Sweet And Sour CharityJerry's bid to take over from Sir takes a slight knock, Margo regrettably declines the lead in the play through principle and Tom and Barbara's land becomes polluted with an oil spill from next door. Bad news all round until Jerry's day picks up at the end!
Would I Lie To You?
Series 4, Episode 7Joining David's team this week are comedic TV presenter Patrick Kielty and veteran actor Bernard Cribbins. They'll be doing their best to outwit Lee and his team: Deborah Meaden from Dragon's Den and comic Mark Watson.
Horrible Histories
Series 2, Episode 3The show visits Ancient Greece for the Spartan High School Musical, a jester breaks bad news to Henry VIII, there is a prehistoric lesson in how to stay fit with the Caveman Workout, and Roman emperor Nero stars in a (not very) romantic movie.
Nothing Barred
A repeat of this 1961 film.
Last Of The Summer Wine
Series 18, Episode 9 - Destiny And Six BananasWhen something horrible stirs in the woods, it's Foggy's big moment.
Mr Bean
Series 2, Episode 45 - Birthday PartyMr Bean is feeling down. Everyone has forgotten his birthday - and to make it worse - Mrs Wicket is having a noisy party downstairs.
Dad's Army
Series 3, Episode 10 - Menace From The DeepThe platoon go on guard duty at the end of Walmington's pier. The situation's bad enough after Pike incorrectly ties up the boat and loses their food, but things get worse when Jones spots a mine under the pier!
Would I Lie To You?
Series 4, Episode 5Rob Brydon welcomes legendary comedian Ronnie Corbett, TV darling Julian Clary, Geordie comic Sarah Millican and TV presenter Holly Walsh to the comedy panel show.
Class Dismissed
Series 1, Episode 12 - End Of TermIt's the end of term. Excitement spreads throughout the school as mess, mayhem and mucus abound - and that's just the teachers.
A League Of Their Own
Series 14, Episode 5This week Romesh will be making the short trip from the panel chairs over to the guest host position. Expect more challenges, laughter and banter as Romesh and the gang are joined by Jermaine Jenas, Lauren Steadman, Tom Allen and Rom's comedian chum Rob Beckett.
The Vicar Of Dibley
Series 1, Episode 1 - The ArrivalFollowing the death of the ancient Reverend Pottle, the inhabitants of rural backwater Dibley are looking forward to a younger, more mentally capable ecclesiastical figure. However, they'd be less surprised to see Mr Blobby popping up in their pulpit than the buxom Geraldine Granger - a female vicar!
So Awkward
Series 3, Episode 7 - Hormone HorrorMartha starts acting oddly, getting emotional and over-reacting to things. She's horrified to realise that her hormones are kicking in.
The Royle Family
Series 1, Episode 5Dave and Denise arrive home late, arguing loudly and threatening to call off the wedding - now just a week away. Soon the whole family are up and smoothing over the cracks of the evening.
Michael McIntyre's Big Show
Series 2, Episode 2This week there's comedy from Russell Howard and music from One Republic.
Live At The Apollo
Series 7, Episode 5 - Rich Hall, Andrew Maxwell, Mark WatsonRich Hall hosts with special guests Andrew Maxwell and Mark Watson.
Scarborough
Episode 2 - The Paradoxical Burglary Of Mr FerrisMike and Karen try to get their relationship back on track after Mike's crab stall misdemeanour, while Mike finally finds Bigsy sleeping rough at the castle after he goes AWOL. The police visit Marion about the break-in next door and Geraldine is under suspicion over the mystery of what happened to the contents of Mrs Bookham's handbag.
Goodness Gracious Me
Series 1, Episode 4This week we meet Flash Ash; an incredibly melodramatic family cause their father hell; Smita Smitten bumps into an apparent old friend; and the competitive mothers meet at a wedding. Plus an Indian take on On The Waterfront.
Bad Influencer
Episode 2In this week's episode of Bad Influencer, comedians Krystal Evans and Stuart McPherson talk to Mark Nelson about Scottish social media's approach to work and family. There's a glimpse into the future when we're all inevitably driven from the workplace by robots and viewers will see the dangers of being caught googling a BBC Scotland weather presenter.
QI
Series Q, Episode 2 - QuintessentialEnjoy some quintessential QI with Cariad Lloyd, Holly Walsh and Josh Widdicombe.
The Rob Rinder Verdict
Episode 3Katherine Ryan, Big Narstie, Jamie Laing and Anna Soubry join in the fun as the criminal barrister-turned-host applies his extensive know-how to take a swipe at the news in his own inimitable way.
The Russell Howard Hour
Series 1, Episode 11Russell is joined by the award-winning comedian Roisin Conaty. Stand-up from Fern Brady.
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 9, Episode 3 - Trial SchmileIn the aftermath of the fire, Donna and Gaz are forced to move into Janet's old place.
Stag
Episode 3The remaining members of the group pull together in an attempt to uncover the identity of their killer - and survive the stag weekend from hell.
TV Flashback
Series 1, Episode 10 - LeisureThis time Tudur is on a quest to discover the truth about leisure.
Room 101
Series 6, Episode 5 - Lucy Porter, Romesh Ranganathan, Judge RinderLucy Porter, Romesh Ranganathan and Judge Robert Rinder compete to have their pet hates and peeves consigned to Room 101. Topics include lavish proposals, school reunions and New Year's Eve.
Little Britain
Series 2, Episode 6Lou and Andy go to the seaside, while Dafydd has been to a rugby match.
Micky Flanagan Thinking Aloud
Episode 4 - Midlife CrisisMicky explores the curious phenomenon of the midlife crisis, finding he displays nearly all of the top-40 signs you're going through one.
Room 101
Series 6, Episode 5 - Lucy Porter, Romesh Ranganathan, Judge RinderLucy Porter, Romesh Ranganathan and Judge Robert Rinder compete to have their pet hates and peeves consigned to Room 101. Topics include lavish proposals, school reunions and New Year's Eve.
Comedy Gold: TV's Funniest Ever Sketches
John Thomson presents this showcase of classic comedy sketches.
Early Doors
Series 1, Episode 1Temporary traffic lights and the build up of cigarette butts in the urinals cause problems in The Grapes.
Bedazzled
The Devil grants a suicidal short-order cook who is in love with a waitress seven wishes in return for his soul. Stars Peter Cook and Dudley Moore.
The Royle Family
Series 1, Episode 5Dave and Denise arrive home late, arguing loudly and threatening to call off the wedding - now just a week away. Soon the whole family are up and smoothing over the cracks of the evening.
Would I Lie To You?
Series 3, Highlights Special - The Best Of Would I Lie To You? (And Unseen Bits)A special compilation episode of the comedy panel show about truth and lies, featuring classic and unseen bits from the third series. Contestants must remain poker-faced while revealing personal stories, tackling a quick-fire lies round, and explaining their real or invented relationship with a mystery guest.
Roast Battle
Series 2, Episode 1Ivo Graham takes on Fern Brady, whilst Tom Rosenthal battles Chris Ramsey.
Black Books
A selection of episodes from the second series of the cornershop sitcom.
Mock The Week
Series 16, Episode 11Dara O Briain and Hugh Dennis look back over the week's events with the help of guests Ed Gamble, Milton Jones, Miles Jupp, Nish Kumar and Felicity Ward.
Russell Howard Live: Dingledodies
A TV broadcast of Russell Howard's 2008 stand-up tour.
Have I Got News For You
Series 55, Episode 4Team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton are joined by guest host Tracey Ullman and panellists James Acaster and Beth Rigby.
White Cargo
A repeat of this 1973 film.
Da Ali G Show
Sacha Baron Cohen provides an inimitable mix of global reportage and celebrity chat via his characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno.
Don't Lose Your Head
In Paris, 1789, two dashing English noblemen rescue their French counterparts from Madame Guillotine and the republican revolutionaries.
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps
Series 9, Episode 3 - Trial SchmileIn the aftermath of the fire, Donna and Gaz are forced to move into Janet's old place.
Dave Gorman: Modern Life Is Goodish
Series 5, Episode 4 - You Use A Spoon For Licking CustardDave Gorman asks what does the term 'generation' really mean? Why does his Mum use emojis? Are 'Life Hacks' really any help at all? All these questions and more, will be answered. Sort of.
Da Ali G Show
Sacha Baron Cohen provides an inimitable mix of global reportage and celebrity chat via his characters Ali G, Borat and Bruno.
Goodness Gracious Me
Series 1, Episode 4This week we meet Flash Ash; an incredibly melodramatic family cause their father hell; Smita Smitten bumps into an apparent old friend; and the competitive mothers meet at a wedding. Plus an Indian take on On The Waterfront.
Duck Quacks Don't Echo
Series 3, Episode 1The fact-busting comedy panel series hosted by Lee Mack returns as Jerry Springer, Emma Bunton and Jason Byrne put further fascinating titbits to the test.
Roast Battle
Series 3, Episode 2Kiri Pritchard-McLean goes up against Brennan Reece and Joel Dommett and Alex Edelman return.
Early Doors
Series 1, Episode 5Some good news for Melanie hurts Ken. Meanwhile, Phil and Nige own up to an error, Eddie and Joan are all dressed up for their anniversary and Jean's Maltesers are missing. Joe keeps a secret, is Duffy in for a taste of his own medicine?
Not Going Out
Series 2, Christmas Special - Murder At ChristmasLee's plan to spend time alone with Lucy at Christmas is threatened by the presence of Tim, Daisy, Tim and Lucy's parents, and even Barbara, doing the cooking. All seems to be going well until a murder mystery game brings family tensions to a head.
Roast Battle
Series 3, Episode 3Tom Houghton and Lauren Pattison face each other, and Simon Brodkin and Dane Baptiste do battle.
Demobbed
Demobbed from the army, four troublesome soldiers are reunited with their old Sergeant.
On The Buses
Comedy following workshy bus driver Stan and his family; his conductor, Jack; and their depot boss, Inspector Blake.