British Comedy Guide

Mongrels. Image shows from L to R: Destiny, Nelson, Kali, Marion, Vince. Copyright: BBC.


BBC Three sitcom. 19 episodes (pilot + 2 series), 2010 - 2011. Stars Rufus Jones, Lucy Montgomery, Katy Brand, Dan Tetsell, Paul Kaye, Tony Way, Ruth Bratt and others.

Series 1, Episode 1 - Nelson The Online Predator

Nelson discovers the harsh reality of interspecies dating, Marion gets himself adopted after his previous owner dies, Destiny bites her owner so she can attend dog obedience classes and Kali implicates DJ Toby Anstis in one of her evil schemes.

Broadcast details

Tuesday 22nd June 2010
BBC Three
30 minutes
0.49 million viewers (2.40% audience share)

Full synopsis

Mongrels. Marion. Copyright: BBC.

Nelson uses Toby Anstis's social networking login to set up a blind date with a human. However, he gets a shock when he discovers the Wendy he was planning to meet isn't a human being after all, but a chicken.

Destiny joins owner Gary for the canine horror show that is Strictly Dog Dancing and falls for badboy Rivers from the dog disobedience class. If she is to see Rivers again, Destiny has to start behaving really badly.

When Marion's owner dies, Kali sees an opportunity for Marion to pose as a missing cat called Chopsticks in order to rob his owner for all she's worth. Marion finds his new life most comfortable, until his new owner takes him to be neutered.

Song: The Chicken Song (F*** Chickens) - Sung by Vince, featuring Nelson.
Written by Daniel Peak and Danielle Ward.


Some sources give this episode the unofficial title Chicken.


  1. Wednesday 23rd June 2010 at 23.45
  2. Friday 25th June 2010 at 22.30
  3. Sunday 27th June 2010 at 23.15
  4. Monday 20th December 2010 at 00.05
  5. Tuesday 28th June 2011 at 23.45
  6. Wednesday 29th June 2011 at 03.45
  7. Saturday 16th July 2011 at 02.45
  8. Wednesday 20th July 2011 at 00.45
  9. Wednesday 20th July 2011 at 03.10
  10. Sunday 30th October 2011 at 03.20
  11. Friday 12th April 2013 at 23.20 on Dave
  12. Monday 14th April 2014 at 01.55 on Dave
  13. Monday 30th June 2014 at 03.15 on Dave
  14. Wednesday 17th September 2014 at 02.15 on Dave
  15. Saturday 13th December 2014 at 02.30 on Dave
  16. Saturday 10th January 2015 at 02.45 on Dave
  17. Friday 22nd January 2016 at 02.00
  18. Saturday 5th March 2016 at 03.30

Cast & crew

Regular cast
Rufus Jones Nelson (Voice)
Lucy Montgomery Destiny (Voice)
Katy Brand Kali (Voice)
Dan Tetsell Marion (Voice)
Paul Kaye Vince (Voice)
Tony Way Gary (Destiny's Owner)
Guest cast
Lewis Macleod Chopsticks (Cross-Eyed Cat) (Voice)
Rita Davies Margaret (Marion's Dead Owner)
James Doherty Dale (Strictly Doggy Dancing Tutor)
Joan Linder Ruth (Marion's New Owner)
Harry Morrison Policeman
Jonathan Ryland Vet
Ruth Bratt Wendy (Chicken) (Voice)
Zoe Gardner Dog Trainer
Toby Anstis Self
Writing team
Jon Brown Writer
Daniel Peak Writer
Paul Doolan Writer (Additional Material)
Dan Tetsell Writer (Additional Material)
Danielle Ward Writer (Additional Material)
Paul Mayhew-Archer Script Editor
Production team
Adam Miller Director
Stephen McCrum Producer
Mark Freeland Exec Producer
Simon Rogers Production Designer
Joe Henson Composer
Richie Webb Composer
Nigel Williams Editor


A little trim downstairs

Marion thinks of undergoing castration.

Featuring: Rufus Jones (Nelson), Lucy Montgomery (Destiny), Katy Brand (Kali), Dan Tetsell (Marion).

F*** Chickens

Vince gives his honest view of chickens in Cockney music form (not safe for work).

Featuring: Paul Kaye (Vince).

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