2013 Edinburgh Fringe

Top 10 jokes at the Edinburgh Fringe 2013

Dave's Joke Of The Fringe 2013. Rob Auton

TV channel Dave has announced the results of its annual 'Funniest Joke of the Fringe' award.

Rob Auton (pictured) has taken the top spot this year, thanks to his gag "I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa."

This is the sixth year Dave has run its Funniest Joke of the Fringe award. In its quest to find the most hilarious one-liners at the Edinburgh Festival, the TV channel enlists the help of a panel of 10 judges to scour shows for potential candidate gags. The top 30 shortlisted jokes are then put to a public vote, which this year involved 2,570 comedy fans selecting which on the list made them laugh the most.

Rob Auton, performed The Sky Show as part of PBH's Free Fringe, first started stand-up in 2008 on an impulse whilst standing on a wall at a fireworks party. The 30 year-old from York has just quit his job selling paint brushes to pursue his dream of becoming a full-time comedy performer.

The gag, which took 24% of the public vote, wins him the hand-crafted Dave trophy and a cash prize. Speaking of his win, Auton says: "I am honoured to receive this award and just pleased that a joke that tackles the serious issue of the invention of a new chocolate bar can be laughed at by the people of Britain."

Steve North, General Manager of Dave, comments: "Now celebrating its sixth year, Dave's Funniest Joke of The Fringe continues to highlight the best one-liners coming out of the Fringe. This year's Top 10 is quick, sharp, witty and clever, and Rob is a very worthy winner."

The top 10 gags in full are...

Rob Auton: The Sky Show. Rob Auton. Copyright: BBC

#1. Rob Auton:
I heard a rumour that Cadbury is bringing out an oriental chocolate bar. Could be a Chinese Wispa.

Alex Horne: Lies. Alex Horne. Copyright: BBC

#2. Alex Horne:
I used to work in a shoe-recycling shop. It was sole-destroying.

Alfie Moore - Viva Alf's Vegas. Alfie Moore. Copyright: Working Title Films / STUDIOCANAL

#3. Alfie Moore:
I'm in a same-sex marriage... the sex is always the same.

The Tim Vine Chat Show. Tim Vine. Copyright: BBC

#4. Tim Vine:
My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily'.

Gary Delaney 2: This Time It's Not Personal. Gary Delaney

#5. Gary Delaney|20520]
I can give you the cause of anaphylactic shock in a nutshell.

Phil Wang: Anti-Hero

#6. Phil Wang:
The Pope is a lot like Dr Who. He never dies, just keeps being replaced by white men.

Marcus Brigstocke presents Unavailable for Comment. Marcus Brigstocke

#7. Marcus Brigstocke:
You know you are fat when you hug a child and it gets lost.

Liam Williams. Liam Williams

#8. Liam Williams:
The universe implodes. No matter.

Bobby Mair - Obviously Adopted. Bobby Mair

#9. Bobby Mair:
I was adopted at birth and have never met my mum. That makes it very difficult to enjoy any lapdance.

Chris Coltrane: Compassion is Subversive. Chris Coltrane. Copyright: Jarvis and Ayres Productions

#10. Chris Coltrane:
The good thing about lending someone your time machine is that you basically get it back immediately.

More Jokes...

The following three jokes just missed making it into the top ten...

"Ho Chi Minh City? I say: can't you just let Saigon be Saigon?" - Glenn Wool

"My father was a seismologist. He could never get a steady job." - The Pajama Men

"I'm very arrogant about my balls. I'm egotestical." - Nick Helm

However, the voting public didn't like the following. They judged them the worst one-liners. Of course, if the audience groans that can actually be a great reaction too, so the following comics shouldn't feel too bad about appearing here.

"I thought ex-pats were people who used to be called Pat." - Simon Lilley

"My wife said to me recently, 'Do you fancy going gay clubbing?' I said, 'No, it sounds violent'." - Geoff Norcott

"I once did a gig in a zoo. I got babooned off." - Tim Vine

"Swastika in Geordie means something that used to be a sticker." - Ben Van Der Velde

"What do you call a pink flower that comes back from the dead? A re-in-carnation." - Nikhil Tiwali

"90 per cent of baking injuries are stress-related. There are people up and down the country having mental bake-downs." - Pat Cahill

More Top 10s

To enjoy more jokes, check out the top 10 from other years:

2016 jokes (Masai Graham won)

2015 jokes (Darren Walsh won)

2014 jokes (Tim Vine won)

2012 jokes (Stewart Francis won)

2011 jokes (Nick Helm won)

2010 jokes (Tim Vine won)

Published: Tuesday 20th August 2013

Share this page