Mongrels. Image shows from L to R: Destiny, Nelson, Kali, Marion, Vince. Copyright: BBC.

Mongrels

BBC Three sitcom. 17 episodes (pilot + 2 series), 2010 - 2011. Stars Tony Way, Rufus Jones, Lucy Montgomery, Katy Brand, Dan Tetsell, Paul Kaye, Ruth Bratt and Felix Dexter.

Nelson (Series 1-2)

Voiced by: Rufus Jones
Mongrels. Nelson. Copyright: BBC.

Nelson is the only wild fox in South London with subscriptions to all the major broadsheets (excluding The Sunday Times). He never tires of introducing himself at dinner parties as "an urbane fox!"

Nelson is the hero of the show because being a fan of everything Ben Elton has ever done "post-Blackadder" and buying high-end gluten-free French chutneys from a carbon-neutral importer on the Kings Road are valid lifestyle choices if you're a human... less so when you're a fox. And so, in just being himself, Nelson is blazing a trail. He's kicking down social barriers. He is, in short, Rosa Parks with National Trust membership.

He also fancies Destiny. And yes, he's also aware that unspoken love is a sitcom cliche.

Destiny (Series 1-2)

Voiced by: Lucy Montgomery
Mongrels. Destiny. Copyright: BBC.

At heart, angel-faced perfectly groomed pedigree Destiny is just a sweet teenage romantic. And like all sweet teenage female romantics, she has the dead-eyed psychotic ruthlessness of a freelance Serbian assassin when it comes to getting what she wants. Which isn't Nelson. Ever. Ever. Ever-ever-ever.

There are two great tragedies in Destiny's life. The first was that she was born a dog and not, for example, Lauren Conrad who used to be in The Hills... or, failing that, any of the cast members from Laguna Beach or, failing that, at the absolute, absolute least Charlotte Church (but right now, not when she was all fat and maternal). The second tragedy in Destiny's life is that her owner Gary "always wears that s***ting tracksuit".

Kali (Series 1-2)

Voiced by: Katy Brand
Mongrels. Kali. Copyright: BBC.

Kali is a spiteful, petty, vindictive, s***ty little bird with a small beak and a big voice. In fact there's only one thing in life she enjoys more than revelling in other people's misfortune - and that's causing other people's misfortune and then revelling in it a bit afterwards (like maybe over some coffee and a bagel from the bins near Pret).

She also seriously bears a grudge. Against all of humankind for their years of tyranny against her winged brethren; against the entire vulpine species for their years of tyranny against her winged brethren; and against Harry Hill for making a slightly off-colour comment about her mum in an episode of You've Been Framed once back in 2008!

Marion (Series 1-2)

Voiced by: Dan Tetsell
Mongrels. Marion. Copyright: BBC.

Marion has been abandoned by a lot of owners, thrown into a lot of canals, ditched in a lot of lay-bys and left in a lot of very stuffy, very locked cars.

It's probably because of his deep-rooted abandonment issues that Marion clings so tightly to his good friend Nelson. Frankly he needs all the paternal guidance he can get. A simple (some may say 'borderline retarded') soul, Marion is nothing if not highly corruptible.

Safe to say, it won't be curiosity that kills this cat, it'll be something like getting brainwashed by radical hedgehogs into sticking a firework up his own arse and then martyring himself.

Vince (Series 1-2)

Voiced by: Paul Kaye
Mongrels. Vince. Copyright: BBC.

Potty-mouthed sociopath Vince is everything Nelson is not. He's a real fox. He's a proper wild animal. He's a red-blooded chicken-eating homicidal predator. As a consequence, some of his eBay feedback is frankly appalling.

But with his simply adorable catchphrase ("Morning c***s!"), his loveable, kooky madcap antics (eating his own young; butchering dead women) and his charming penchant for a good ole Cockney sing-a-long ("come on everyone... F*** Chickens!") Vince is every inch the perfect next-door neighbour... Yeah, like **** he is!