British Comedy Guide

Mongrels. Image shows from L to R: Destiny, Nelson, Kali, Marion, Vince. Copyright: BBC.


BBC Three sitcom. 19 episodes (pilot + 2 series), 2010 - 2011. Stars Rufus Jones, Lucy Montgomery, Katy Brand, Dan Tetsell, Paul Kaye, Tony Way, Ruth Bratt and others.

Series 1, Episode 4 - Nelson The Stroke Virgin

Destiny enjoys a taste of life in the limelight after being awarded Animal of Courage 2010, but it is Marion who is the real hero. Nelson tries to be stroked by a human and Kali develops a crush on a crow that turns out to be female.

Broadcast details

Tuesday 13th July 2010
BBC Three
30 minutes

Full synopsis

Mongrels. Destiny. Copyright: BBC.

Afghan hound Destiny enjoys a taste of life in the limelight after being awarded Animal of Courage 2010.

However, there is tension in the yard as Marion is the true hero, but Destiny, dazzled by the attention, refuses to come clean. Everything soon backfires though and she is forced to redeem herself.

Meanwhile, urban fox Nelson is on a mission to experience being stroked by a human. However, when he finds himself trapped in the local petting zoo, the experience is less than enjoyable and he resorts to calling on Destiny to save him.

Pigeon Kali develops a crush on a crow only to discover the buff new boy in town is, in fact, a girl who soon develops a crush on Kali, leaving her momentarily questioning her sexuality.

Song: Everybody Loves A Lesbian - Sung by the Female Crow, featuring Kali and Destiny.
Written by Danielle Ward and Adam Miller.


Some sources give this episode the unofficial title Never Been Stroked.


  1. Wednesday 14th July 2010 at 00.45
  2. Thursday 15th July 2010 at 00.30
  3. Saturday 17th July 2010 at 00.45
  4. Sunday 18th July 2010 at 23.15
  5. Thursday 23rd December 2010 at 00.05
  6. Saturday 23rd July 2011 at 01.15
  7. Saturday 23rd July 2011 at 03.40
  8. Sunday 30th October 2011 at 02.50
  9. Friday 3rd May 2013 at 23.20 on Dave
  10. Monday 21st April 2014 at 02.50 on Dave
  11. Friday 4th July 2014 at 03.30 on Dave
  12. Wednesday 24th September 2014 at 02.45 on Dave
  13. Sunday 21st December 2014 at 02.15 on Dave
  14. Saturday 17th January 2015 at 03.15 on Dave
  15. Saturday 5th March 2016 at 03.00

Cast & crew

Regular cast
Rufus Jones Nelson (Voice)
Lucy Montgomery Destiny (Voice)
Katy Brand Kali (Voice)
Dan Tetsell Marion (Voice)
Paul Kaye Vince (Voice)
Tony Way Gary (Destiny's Owner)
Guest cast
Lewis Macleod Ensemble (Various Roles) (Voice)
Margaret Cabourn-Smith Mother
Malcolm Rogers Old Man
Dan Skinner (as Renton Skinner) Reporter
Andrew Brooke Farmhand
Velile Tshabalala Nurse
Ruth Bratt Cassandra (Voice)
Jeff Brazier Self
Clive Anderson Self
Writing team
Jon Brown Writer
Paul Doolan Writer (Additional Material)
Dan Tetsell Writer (Additional Material)
Danielle Ward Writer (Additional Material)
Paul Mayhew-Archer Script Editor
Production team
Adam Miller Director
Stephen McCrum Producer
Mark Freeland Exec Producer
Simon Rogers Production Designer
Joe Henson Composer
Richie Webb Composer
Nigel Williams Editor


Everybody loves a lesbian

A song about lesbians. Warning: this clip is not suitable for young viewers or those easily offended.

Featuring: Lucy Montgomery (Destiny), Katy Brand (Kali).

Animal of Courage

Destiny is up for an "Animal of Courage" award.

Featuring: Lucy Montgomery (Destiny), Dan Tetsell (Marion), Tony Way (Gary), Jeff Brazier.

Destiny The Lifesaver

A young boy is drowning and it is up to Destiny to save him, but she has a Magnum Classic to finish.

Featuring: Dan Tetsell (Marion), Paul Kaye (Vince), Margaret Cabourn-Smith (Mother).

Clive Anderson on Mongrels

Nelson spends the night in a petting zoo after being desperate to be stroked. However, during the night he finds an unwanted visitor in his pen, in the form of Clive Anderson.

Featuring: Rufus Jones (Nelson), Clive Anderson.

Never Been Stroked

It turns out Nelson has never been stroked.

Featuring: Rufus Jones (Nelson), Lucy Montgomery (Destiny), Katy Brand (Kali).

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