Arbiter Maven stoops to new lows in his attempt to join Jinsy's intellectual elite. Doesn't he know that cheats never prosper? With Jane Horrocks and Don Warrington.

Under the watchful eye of the Chief Thinker (Don Warrington), Jinsy's Cranial Lodge has become a haven for the island's intellectual elite. A breeding ground for innovation and philosophical debate, membership is reserved for only the most forward-thinking islanders. Needless to say, Maven is still awaiting an invite.

What's more, he's the only arbiter in the island's history not to have been asked to join - a fact that is proving a source of great consternation to him. Not even his inflatable shorts could convince the panel of his suitability.

But things are about to go from bad to worse for Jinsy's arbiter. Still reeling from his latest rejection, Maven discovers it's time for his annual inspection of the White Apron Playgroup - a place populated by funny little dwarf people (known to some as children).

Benefiting from the leadership of kooky headmistress Mrs Stenton (Jane Horrocks) and her glove puppet Tiddly-Eye, White Apron is one of the island's finest educational establishments, offering advanced courses in bullying, ample cigarette machines, and an on-site school prostitute for the older boys. It may also be about to provide an unlikely solution to Maven's Cranial Lodge problem.

In anticipation of his visit, Mrs Stenton has had her pupils prepare a 'Visions of the Fu-charrr' display to show off their latest inventions, from the gentleman's apple holder to the musical vest. The only question for Maven is: which one to steal and pass off as his own?

On Sporall's advice, Maven settles on the ingenious creation of a young bully-magnet named Caravel Didd-Onion (Marek Larwood). Enlisting his assistant's help for a midnight raid of the school, Maven puts his plan to impress the Cranial Lodge elders into action.

But does Sporall really have Maven's best interests at heart? And, even if it works, will the island's brightest minds really be fooled by the arbiter's scheme? It seems that only one thing is certain - cheaters never prosper... or, at least, not in the way they'd like to.

Are you a fan of pipes? Then why not visit Hoofan - the parish of pipes. From sewage pipes to the children's pipe orchestra, Hoofan has the pipes to meet all your piping needs. And even if you don't like pipes, there are now designated viewing areas where only three or four hundred pipes are visible. So what are you waiting for? Those pipes won't look at themselves...