Have I Got News For You

Jack Dee presents, with guest comic Phil Wang and former co-Chairwoman of the Conservative Party, Baroness Sayeeda Warsi.

The guest panellists joined regular team captains Ian Hislop and Paul Merton in the week that saw prime minister Boris Johnson give an awkward speech at the CBI Conference, changes being made to the Social Care Bill and HS2, NASA attempting to save the planet from extinction and the invention of a phone made for a dog to call its owner.

The panel's attention was first turned to criticism of Boris Johnson this week, after he lost his place in a speech to British business leaders at the CBI conference, before going on to perform an impression of a car and sing the praises of the children's cartoon character theme park Peppa Pig World, which he had recently visited.

Baroness Warsi: "You know what happens? I come on this show, and I'm the sacrificial Tory lamb. Then I go away and I go through months and months of Tory training, I get my '7 commandments of Tory-ism'. Once I've been through all of that retraining and I decide to come back on this show, then my colleagues spend seven days creating the biggest s*** show possible on this earth! And I have to come here and defend it! It doesn't help."

Ian Hislop: "I think that's very unfair on your colleagues. I mean, it's not seven days of 's*** show'. In my estimation, it's about 10 years!"

Baroness Warsi: "I think the positive about the CBI speech is that it clearly showed that all those people who deny the fact that white privilege exists, could see it in action. Because true equality for me will be when I can be as rubbish as a white man, and get away with it and be prime minister."

Jack Dee: "The big question is has anyone here been to Peppa Pig World? Anyone?"

Phil Wang: "No, but it sounds good. He really bigs it up. He bigs up Peppa Pig World so much one has to wonder... has Peppa Pig made a large donation to the Conservative party?"

Jack Dee: "This is Boris Johnson's speech to the CBI, which he clearly confused with CBIBeebies. During his rambling speech to business leaders, Boris Johnson broke off to praise Peppa Pig. The pink-faced, one dimensional cartoon character has been prime minister for two years now."

Later in the episode, the panel looked at the news that NASA had launched a spacecraft in the first ever mission to deflect an asteroid, in a 6.8million-mile test journey to see if future asteroids can be diverted from collision with Earth.

Jack Dee: "NASA are trying to guard against extinction, they always make it out that it was a bad thing that dinosaurs were made extinct."

Ian Hislop: "It's our extinction isn't it?"

Phil Wang: "We're handling our own extinction perfectly well, thank you very much. We're doing a perfectly good job with climate change, so back off comets... the job's taken!"

Jack Dee: "This is the news that an asteroid could strike the earth and destroy human life in a millisecond. According to Al Jazeera, asteroids that are 10km or wider hit the earth every 100 to 200 million years... so that's about as often as Labour winning an election."