2018 Edinburgh Fringe

Fringe Q&A: Comedians share jokes from their shows

Edinburgh Q&A

We asked some of the comedians heading to the Edinburgh Festival to share their favourite joke from their show with us. Have a read below of some of the funnies they selected. Click on the comedian's name to find out more about their show.

Ali Brice's Lemonade Stand. Ali Brice

Ali Brice

Dad: Don't go shopping hungry.
Lemon Adrian: What about if I'm buying a sofa?
Dad: Well, you remember your Grandfather? He was hungry, went to buy a new flat and died halfway through eating a bungalow.

...What the Frick?!. Alice Frick

Alice Frick

"When I came out to my grandmother she said to me: 'Homosexuality is not natural'. So I said to her: 'Neither is your artificial hip. But you still sleep with it every night'.

Andrew Sim: You Gotta Find Joy. Andrew Sim

Andrew Sim

"America at the moment seems like the friend who's redecorated their whole place but no one likes the new wallpaper."

Life Coach (age 14). Anthony Jeannot

Anthony Jeannot

"I had a near death experience. My whole life flashed before my eyes and there were only three things, which was disappointing. What's worse is that two of them were just really nice pizzas I've had."

Anuvab Pal: Empire. Anuvab Pal

Anuvab Pal

It's a show about Empire, and I try to make some kind of point about how museums help kids think creatively. And I digress and say, "I was at The British Museum earlier this week, picking up some of my Indian grandad's things and was surprised to find him there. He was happy. It said 'do not touch' and he never liked being touched."

Any Suggestions, Doctor? An Improvised Adventure in Space and Time

Any Suggestions, Doctor?

Lewis Dunn: "We've been everywhere, from the Sauce Mines of Heinz 57 to King Arthur's Camelot. We've even been to a post apocalyptic future where Donald Trump was president. We used to be sci-fi show!"

Bennett Arron: I've Never Told Anyone This. Bennett Arron

Bennett Arron

"I always wanted to sleep with two women, and I eventually did. One was in 1987 and the other 1992."

Darren Walsh: Massive Punt. Darren Walsh

Darren Walsh

"I've got a stepdad called Stan, which is really weird because my real Dad is also called Stan...

But I don't like other people whose Dads are called Stan.

This is because I've got double Stan Dads."

Dave Maher Coma Show. Dave Maher

Dave Maher

"When you tell someone with Type I Diabetes about some bum you know with Type II, it's like approaching someone who lost their limbs in a car crash and saying, 'Oh, my uncle was in a car accident. But not really a crash so much as he ATE A CAR.'"

David McIver Is a Nice Little Man. David McIver

David McIver

I dress up like a giant piñata and a get an audience member to bludgeon me with a baseball bat, until sweets pour forth from my mouth and innards. I think it's a very good joke!

Diamond Comedy Club

Diamond Comedy Club (answered by Dan Kestler)

Dan Kestler: "If you're gonna get a roommate I wouldn't recommend getting a fat roommate because you'll look at yourself compared to them and think you're fine. But trust me, you've let yourself go pal."

Glenn Moore: Glenn Glenn Glenn, How Do You Like It, How Do You Like It. Glenn Moore

Glenn Moore

"The worst thing about being dumped by email was that I was only CC'd into it."

Grant Busé: The Birds and the Beats. Grant Busé

Grant Busé

"I think everyone should try BDSM at least once. It's like I always say, 'What doesn't kill you, only makes you harder'."

Greg Byron: Wordshow. Greg Byron

Greg Byron

"Trump wants to arm Teachers. My mum's 80 and a Teacher, she teaches Home Economics, and she sees it as a challenge to crochet a holster in a plethora of pastel colours."

Harry and Chris Save the World. Image shows from L to R: Chris Read, Harry Baker

Harry & Chris

"In Spain they celebrate New Years by eating 12 grapes.
Yeth they doth!"

Laura Lexx: Trying. Laura Lexx

Laura Lexx

"I want to use comedy to lift the lid on anti-depressants but it's hard, because first you have to push it down and click it round."

Nathaniel Metcalfe: Chameleon, Comedian, Corinthian and Caricature. Nathaniel Metcalfe

Nathaniel Metcalfe

"I was at University before I ever used the internet. They say that today online, you're only ever two clicks away from hardcore sex. When I was at University I was only ever two clicks away from hardcore sex if you mean sex to be the military definition for kilometres."

Paul Savage: DoGooder. Paul Savage

Paul Savage

"I keep seeing women on dating apps saying they are 'looking for a partner in crime' and yet when I suggest a series of daring jewel heists, suddenly I'm the weirdo."

Richard Soames: Let's Make a Movie. Richard Soames

Richard Soames

Probably the visual joke I have in my show. Ha! Sorry, even just thinking about it now makes me laugh! Thing is it's very deep as well. Works on loads of levels, it's like a political, surreal, physical, cerebral, musical, improvisational, multi-person, solo, vociferous mime. It's the perfect joke. Comedy will never be the same again. You really have to see it.

Robin Morgan: Honeymoon. Robin Morgan

Robin Morgan

"There are such double standards being a Dad. I get so much praise. I push my son around the park in a pram and women smile at me. They don't know what it's in the pram. I could have a bag of rats in there."

Scott Bennett: Leap Year. Scott Bennett

Scott Bennett

"I'm not saying the male scrotum is ugly, but it's a bit like the sun. You know it's there but best not look at it directly."

Simon Caine: Sex, Drugs and Other Things I Never Do. Simon Caine

Simon Caine

"When I was at school we were all given a bag of flour and told to pretend it is a baby to get us ready for parenthood. I opted for self-raising because I wasn't ready for that shit."

Stuart Goldsmith: End Of. Stuart Goldsmith

Stuart Goldsmith

"Men don't make friends as adults. You've got the kids you knew at school, minus one who died, and that's it."

Stuart Mitchell: Gordon Ramsay's Karma Cafe. Stuart Mitchell

Stuart Mitchell

"I bought a man bag. Its not a bag for wife."

Tamsyn Kelly: You're Welcome. Tamsyn Kelly

Tamsyn Kelly

"I'm from Cornwall, like way out in the sticks. Which is convenient as that's also our currency."

Adulting. Tash York

Tash York

My show talks about my whole adult life, which is a joke within itself really.

The Kagools: Kula

The Kagools

Nicky: *facial expression
Claire: *facial expression
Nicky: *facial expression
Claire: *facial expression
Claire: *facial expression

Tom Ward: Popcorn Lung. Tom Ward

Tom Ward

"I think you know when you've lived alone too long when you start leaving the windows open when you go out, just to increase the chance there'll be someone in when you get back."

Published: Friday 27th July 2018

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