Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Donna is living with Jonny, and Janet is living with Gaz.

Donna is living with Jonny and Janet is living with Gaz. Jonny thinks Janet has gone to live with Andy and, pushed by Donna, goes to get Janet back. Turns out Janet is not at Andy's and Jonny has no reason to be scared of Andy who is 'a lover, not a fighter'.

Meanwhile Janet has gone back home, only to find Jonny missing. Louise convinces her that Jonny must be dead. Gaz goes round to Flo's, thinking he'll find Donna there. Flo, in cahoots with Donna, convinces Gaz that his insensitive remarks have sent Donna round the bend and she must be dead.

Janet and Gaz go down the boys' pub hoping Jonny and Donna will turn up. Louise thinks that astrology is the answer to everyone's problems. She tells them that according to the stars both couples will split up. Janet will marry the gay one out of Hearsay, Jonny will marry a Croation lapdancer in Wigan and Gaz will get fat. Louise's career in astrology is ruined when Donna and Jonny arrive at the pub and everyone makes up.

Janet finally gets her wish when Jonny proposes to her. She thinks the ring is beautiful but can't quite understand why the inscription reads 'From Mo Mo to Pigsy with Love'. The ring was actually Andy's grandmother's wedding ring, pocketed by Jonny on his visit to Andy's house.