Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Jonny finds his near-death experience of being gunned down by the police has a profound affect on his relationship with Janet, as she struggles to cope with her loss. The funeral of Donna's mother takes place.

The episode starts with a funeral. But thanks to the phone and text vote at the end of Series 4, it's not Jonny's funeral but Donna's Mum Flo's.

Grief makes Donna extremely horny. But she struggles to satisfy her horn because Gaz finds that the funeral has 'unmanlified' him. While Donna finds a new way to keep herself happy, Gaz once again has to go to extreme measures to get an erection (or resurrection, as Donna calls it.)

Jonny's shooting has made him famous and he's determined to make the most of it. Janet thinks Jonny is being really stupid milking his celebrity until she discovers that North West Tonight's Gordon Burns is coming to the press conference to watch Jonny take his first steps from the wheelchair. Janet's so excited. But will Jonny rise to the occasion?

Louise tries to avoid all blame for Jonny's shooting until she hears that someone else is being applauded for making Jonny famous. She blabs and as a result she is arrested for incitement to GBH. And Munch gets the hots for barmaid Kelly.