Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Jonny wins £1,000 on a scratch card and everyone has their own ideas about how he should spend the money.

Jonny wins some money on a scratch card and everyone has their own ideas about how he should spend it. Gaz wants Jonny to take him on holiday while Janet expects an engagement ring. She throws a dinner party to celebrate the occasion and to help Gaz and Donna get to know each other better - they're not having much luck in the conversation department.

Louise brings her new, posh boyfriend James to the dinner. James is desperate to get into her pants, but Louise is shocked when James reveals he is a virgin and not the 'sex monster' she had bragged about. Donna convinces her that this is a golden opportunity to get James to whatever she wants, so Louise orders James to lick her feet and bark like a dog.

The party is ruined when James asks Jonny when he's going ask Janet to marry him, so he and Louise can go back to his place and 'enjoy him'. Turns out Jonny has no plans to buy an engagement ring, he has other plans for the money...