Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps. Image shows from L to R: Louise (Kathryn Drysdale), Jonny (Ralf Little), Donna Henshaw (Natalie Casey), Janet (Sheridan Smith), Gary 'Gaz' Wilkinson (Will Mellor). Copyright: BBC.

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

BBC Three and BBC Two sitcom about a group of 20-somethings. 79 episodes (9 series), 2001 - 2011. Stars Natalie Casey, Will Mellor, Sheridan Smith, Kathryn Drysdale and others.

Another series is in development.

Series 1, Episode 5 - Lard

Janet is on a mission to be funny while her boyfriend Jonny is trying to control his lust for Louise.

Further details

Janet is on a mission to be funny and to disprove Gaz's assertion that 'women aren't meant to make jokes'. Jonny worries that he is in love with Louise because he desires a 'girlie girl' who wears dresses and doesn't swear. After accompanying Louise on a shopping trip for hair-removal cream he takes a risk and kisses her. Louise tastes of lard and he decides to go home to Janet who tastes of spearmint and lager. He confides in Gaz that he wants to tell Janet but Gaz persuades him not to.

Meanwhile Donna kicks Gaz out of his unhygienic flat so she can tidy it. Gaz thinks he is the 'Master of Cunning' until he comes home to find his flat a shrine to all that is pink, heart-shaped and frilly.

Down the boys' pub Janet is irritating her friends with her bad jokes. Gaz tells Janet about Jonny and Louise just to shut her up. Furious, Janet summons a meeting in the pub and insults each of her friends in turn. However her insults are so funny, they all crack up with laughter. Janet is thrilled that she has finally made her friends laugh and forgives them.

Walking home Jonny says it was a good thing he kissed Louise because it has got Janet over her joke obsession. But Janet has had her revenge - she too has snogged Louise, but found her to taste more mediciny than lardy. But Jonny is still one step ahead because he touched her booby.

Broadcast details

Monday 26th March 2001
30 minutes

Cast & crew

Regular cast
Natalie Casey Donna Henshaw
Will Mellor Gary 'Gaz' Wilkinson
Sheridan Smith Janet
Kathryn Drysdale Louise
Ralf Little Jonny
Beverley Callard Flo Henshaw
Writing team
Susan Nickson Writer
Paul Mayhew-Archer Script Editor
Production team
Gareth Carrivick Director
Stephen McCrum Producer
Sophie Clarke-Jervoise Executive Producer
Geoffrey Perkins Executive Producer

Supporters and subscribers get more

Additional content and tools are available across the site for Supporters and BCG Pro subscribers. On this page you can:

  • Broadcast details of 36 further repeats of this episode
  • BCG Pro business users can see additional crew credits  
    If you join BCG Pro business, you can see composer, editor, production designer, casting director, costume designer, make-up designer, lighting designer, 1st assistant director & line producer credits for this episode.

Donate (for fans) BCG Pro

Already a donor or Pro user?