Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps. Image shows from L to R: Louise (Kathryn Drysdale), Jonny Keogh (Ralf Little), Donna Henshaw (Natalie Casey), Janet (Sheridan Smith), Gary 'Gaz' Wilkinson (Will Mellor). Copyright: BBC
Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

  • TV sitcom
  • BBC Three / BBC Two / BBC Choice
  • 2001 - 2011
  • 79 episodes (9 series)

Sitcom following the lives and loves of a group of twenty-somethings in Runcorn, an industrial town in the North of England. Stars Natalie Casey, Will Mellor, Sheridan Smith, Kathryn Drysdale, Ralf Little and more.

Episode menu

Series 1, Episode 5 - Lard

Janet is on a mission to be funny while her boyfriend Jonny is trying to control his lust for Louise.

Further details

Janet is on a mission to be funny and to disprove Gaz's assertion that 'women aren't meant to make jokes'. Jonny worries that he is in love with Louise because he desires a 'girlie girl' who wears dresses and doesn't swear. After accompanying Louise on a shopping trip for hair-removal cream he takes a risk and kisses her. Louise tastes of lard and he decides to go home to Janet who tastes of spearmint and lager. He confides in Gaz that he wants to tell Janet but Gaz persuades him not to.

Meanwhile Donna kicks Gaz out of his unhygienic flat so she can tidy it. Gaz thinks he is the 'Master of Cunning' until he comes home to find his flat a shrine to all that is pink, heart-shaped and frilly.

Down the boys' pub Janet is irritating her friends with her bad jokes. Gaz tells Janet about Jonny and Louise just to shut her up. Furious, Janet summons a meeting in the pub and insults each of her friends in turn. However her insults are so funny, they all crack up with laughter. Janet is thrilled that she has finally made her friends laugh and forgives them.

Walking home Jonny says it was a good thing he kissed Louise because it has got Janet over her joke obsession. But Janet has had her revenge - she too has snogged Louise, but found her to taste more mediciny than lardy. But Jonny is still one step ahead because he touched her booby.

Broadcast details

Monday 26th March 2001
30 minutes


Show past repeats

Date Time Channel
Friday 6th May 2011 11:00pm W
Wednesday 16th May 2012 11:40pm W
Friday 21st September 2012 12:00am W
Tuesday 30th October 2012 12:40am W
Friday 23rd November 2012 12:40am W
Friday 11th January 2013 12:00am W
Wednesday 2nd October 2013 10:00pm VIVA
Thursday 3rd October 2013 12:20am VIVA
Tuesday 22nd October 2013 10:00pm VIVA
Wednesday 23rd October 2013 12:20am VIVA
Tuesday 12th November 2013 10:00pm VIVA
Wednesday 13th November 2013 12:20am VIVA
Monday 2nd December 2013 10:00pm VIVA
Tuesday 3rd December 2013 12:20am VIVA
Thursday 19th December 2013 10:00pm VIVA
Friday 20th December 2013 1:30am VIVA
Saturday 28th December 2013 1:40am VIVA
Friday 3rd January 2014 1:40am VIVA
Wednesday 22nd January 2014 10:00pm VIVA
Thursday 23rd January 2014 12:20am VIVA
Tuesday 11th February 2014 10:00pm VIVA
Wednesday 12th February 2014 12:25am VIVA
Thursday 24th April 2014 10:00pm VIVA
Friday 25th April 2014 12:20am VIVA
Thursday 3rd July 2014 10:00pm VIVA
Friday 4th July 2014 12:20am VIVA
Friday 8th August 2014 10:00pm Comedy Central
Friday 8th August 2014 11:40pm Comedy Central
Sunday 31st August 2014 12:00am VIVA
Sunday 31st August 2014 10:00pm VIVA
Tuesday 11th November 2014 10:40pm VIVA
Wednesday 12th November 2014 1:00am VIVA
Wednesday 4th February 2015 11:40pm VIVA
Friday 7th June 2019 11:00pm Gold
Saturday 8th June 2019 1:40am Gold
Wednesday 25th September 2019 10:30pm Gold
Saturday 8th October 2022 9:00pm BBC3
Saturday 25th March 2023 10:55pm BBC3
Sunday 26th March 2023 2:45am BBC3
Saturday 12th August 2023 9:00pm BBC3
Sunday 13th August 2023 1:35am BBC3
Thursday 28th September 2023 10:00pm Dave
Sunday 12th November 2023 11:00pm Dave
Saturday 30th December 2023 11:25pm BBC3
Sunday 31st December 2023 3:05am BBC3

Cast & crew

Natalie Casey Donna Henshaw
Will Mellor Gary 'Gaz' Wilkinson
Sheridan Smith Janet
Kathryn Drysdale Louise
Ralf Little Jonny Keogh
Beverley Callard Flo Henshaw
Writing team
Susan Nickson Writer
Paul Mayhew-Archer Script Editor
Production team
Gareth Carrivick Director
Stephen McCrum Producer
Sophie Clarke-Jervoise Executive Producer
Geoffrey Perkins Executive Producer
Jez Nightingale Line Producer
Mark Lawrence Editor
Pete Drinkwater Editor
Harry Banks Production Designer
Tracey Gillham Casting Director
Leah Archer Costume Designer
Kerin Parfitt Make-up Designer
Dave Davey Lighting Designer
Christian Henson Composer
Nick Rae 1st Assistant Director

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