Two Pints Of Lager And A Packet Of Crisps

Janet decides to become a student so Louise arranges for Janet to meet some of her uni friends.

Janet wants to become demure and educated when Louise tells her that study improves every aspect of your life. When she decides to become a student, Louise arranges for Janet to meet some of her uni friends, reassuring her that students 'love a bit of grit'.

Fed up with Donna's constant sarcasm Louise calls her an 'angry wangry', prompting Donna to try and control her anger. Cameron, a rich pompous student, invites Janet to perform at a poetry reading. At the reading Janet humiliates herself, resulting in a kick in the bollocks for Cameron from Jonny. Back at home Jonny comforts Janet with a digestive and the wise words 'If you're educated and demure it means you can't eat mashed potato butties and p**s in the sink.'

Meanwhile Gaz decides that women don't fancy him now that he's got a girlfriend. He asks Jonny to come to a disco to see if he can still pull. Unfortunately all the girls prefer Jonny's hard-to-get attitude and try to get off with him - Jonny decides it's all too much and goes home to watch the new ER episode, leaving Gaz alone in the pub to rip off his shirt. Donna walks in at this precise moment but, controlling her anger, decides to buy him a drink instead of throttling him.

Gaz is thrilled at Donna's new attitude and tells her so, walking home. He wonders aloud whether she might wear shorter skirts and if he could get off with other women. The new, relaxed Donna refrains from another angry outburst, and instead pushes him calmly into the canal.