Victor and Margaret return home to find that their television, along with most of the contents of their living room, has been stolen. Victor is, of course, fuming; even more so when he discovers that the thieves were assisted by their neighbours, who hadn't realised that the four heavily tattooed men were burglars, so they fed them and gave their van a jump-start!

Bored without television, they soon decamp to the pub, where Victor meets an old schoolmate - who mistakes him for another boy in their class and promptly begins ranting about how awful a child Victor Meldrew was! Attempting to save face by keeping up the lie, Victor is soon being taxied home by his erstwhile chum - to an entirely different side of town. As a torrential downpour begins, his journey on foot back to his real house results in a heavy cold.