
Hayley & Ruth: Two Stars
Resident critics Hayley Danks and Ruth Goodchild review everything from the monarchy to the eclipse. They don't feel they actually have to see a film or play in order to review it. So sit back, relax, and let them tell you what to think.
If you would like to suggest something for Hayley and Ruth to review, tweet them: @twostarspodcast
Two Stars is improvised by Susan Harrison and Gemma Arrowsmith.
Episode 3.9 - The Apprentice
Published: 6th November 2019. Length: 33 mins.
Hayley & Ruth are at the National Theatre waiting to review some play or other. But while they wait, they respond to a listener request to review popular television programme The Apprentice.
Previous episodes
Episode 3.8 - The Heatwave
1st August 2019. 34 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth review the British heatwave. Despite uncomfortably high temperatures and melting train tracks, Hayley has had the time of her life during the heatwave, whereas Ruth refuses to...
Episode 3.7 - The Woman in Black
16th May 2019. 31 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth head to the Fortune Theatre in London's West End to watch The Woman in Black. Is the ghost in the play a spectre that only Hayley can...
Episode 3.6 - Self Help Books
26th March 2019. 25 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth review self help books, including such classics as Don't Forget Your Crown, Make Yourself Cozy and The Secret, in what turns out to be closer to an...
Episode 3.5 - The Cultural Year Ahead 2019
22nd January 2019. 33 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth look forward to what 2019 has in store in arts and culture, reviewing art exhibitions, plays and films, none of which have happened yet. Susan Harrison...
Episode 3.4 - BBC1 Christmas Day schedule
22nd December 2018. 39 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth review the BBC1 Christmas Day schedule, which includes such gems as Zog, BBC News, Christmas Morning from Oldham Paris Church and Hammy's Boomerang Adventure. Obviously they haven't...
Episode 3.3 - Oxford Street Christmas Lights
29th November 2018. 37 minutes.
As Christmas approaches Hayley and Ruth brave London's busy Oxford Street to watch Jodie Whittaker turning the Christmas lights on. Along the way they review the John Lewis advert... without...
Episode 3.2 - Love Island
19th July 2018. 35 minutes.
Hayley & Ruth review the cultural sensation of Love Island. Hayley has seen every episode while Ruth hasn't seen a single episode and in fact doesn't own a television. This,...
Episode 3.1 - Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
19th June 2018. 34 minutes.
Hayley & Ruth might have failed to secure free tickets to the latest Jurassic World movie, so they haven't actually seen it yet - but that won't stop them reviewing...
Episode 2.8 - British Summer Time
28th April 2018. 32 minutes.
After a never ending winter, for two whole days this April, the UK saw sunshine. Hayley and Ruth review this brief bit of British Summer Time from London's bustling Southbank,...
Episode 2.7 - Lesley Boughton
7th March 2018. 38 minutes.
In this episode, Hayley and Ruth are thrilled to chat to highly experienced actor Lesley Boughton, star of rep, fringe, big screen, small screen and medium screen.
Episode 2.6 - Valentine's Day
14th February 2018. 28 minutes.
On the most romantic day of the year, Hayley and Ruth join Irish poet Fintan Cresss to review a restaurant and to talk about his latest book Hallowed Halls.
Episode 2.5 - New Year's Fireworks
9th January 2018. 39 minutes.
From Ruth's old offices at the Telegraph, Hayley & Ruth usher in 2018 by reviewing the new year fireworks display. They also look back at their cultural highlights of 2017.
Episode 2.4 - Reuben Bourgeois, Pantomime Director
9th November 2017. 37 minutes.
Just in time for Christmas, Hayley and Ruth journey to Norwich to see a production of Cinderella by legendary panto director Reuben Bourgeois (Alex Lynch, @AlexJRLynch) who explains how he...
Episode 2.3 - Athene Babbard, Theatre Director
4th November 2017. 27 minutes.
This month, Hayley & Ruth journey to a remote Scottish island to meet renowned theatre director Athene Babbard and watch her new version of The Scottish Play (Macbeth). Lucy...
Episode 2.2 - Soho
16th October 2017. 29 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth attend an invigorating piece of invisible theatre and review a Nordic bakery in London's Soho.
Episode 2.1 - EdFringe 2017 Post Mortem
30th August 2017. 36 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth are back in London after a gruelling month of reviewing shows in Edinburgh. Hayley's had her heart broken, Ruth may or may not publish a review. Listen...
Episode 1.16 - Macey *****
11th May 2017. 35 minutes.
Hayley & Ruth are on the frontline of art once again as they meet artist Macey ***** in a warehouse in Shoreditch. Guest starring Georgie Morrell as Macey *****. [link=http://pokeintheeyeproductions.co.uk/]Georgie's...
Episode 1.15 - Co-op Supermarket
7th April 2017. 32 minutes.
After a listener requested they review the Co-op opposite Charing Cross Station, Hayley and Ruth find themselves at the supermarket at 6am.
Episode 1.14 - Fintan Cresss
8th March 2017. 37 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth accost world renowned poet Fintan Cresss at the book launch of his latest collection of poems. (With special guest Dan Starkey - @StanDarkley)
Episode 1.13 - Valentine's Day
13th February 2017. 29 minutes.
Hayley and Ruth discuss how best to spend Valentine's Day and also review some of Hayley's Valentine's cards.
Susan Harrison (Hayley Danks)

Susan Harrison is an award winning character comedian, actor and improviser. Her solo show Creatures won the Three Weeks Editor's Choice Award at the Edinburgh Fringe and she is part of the Olivier Award winning Showstopper! The Improvised Musical.
"A Perfomer with depth and range; able to read the audience with the precision of an old hand... a fantastic character comedian" - Chortle
Gemma Arrowsmith (Ruth Goodchild)

Gemma Arrowsmith is comedy writer/performer. She has most recently written for Tracey Ullman's Show, Newsjack and The Now Show. She has appeared in Charlie Brooker's How TV Ruined Your Life and Vic Reeves' Ministry Of Curious Stuff.
Gemma is brilliaaaaaant!" - Paul Whitehouse
Credits
Artwork: William Andrews.
Theme tune: Matt Lewsey and Amy Ashworth from Skiffle and the Piffles.