Tell us a joke Page 213

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 9th June 2018, 12:07pm [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,915 posts

What's the difference between eggs and your dick? You don't teach grandma to such eggs.

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Bonzo

  • Saturday 9th June 2018, 4:30pm
  • London, England
  • 798 posts

One I overheard today when picking mini me up from music (not sure if it's an oldie, I'd not heard it before):

What's blue and smells like red paint?
Blue paint.

Well...made me chuckle.

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Flook

  • Saturday 9th June 2018, 4:38pm
  • Devon, England
  • 272 posts

What's the difference between eggs and your dick? You don't teach grandma to such eggs.

Bonus chuckle for anyone that can spot such a deliberate spelling mistake.

If there was a way of hiding it - it would be an 'easter egg' !

I'l get my anorak

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Chappers

  • Saturday 9th June 2018, 5:21pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 29,739 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 9th June 2018, 12:07 PM

What's the difference between eggs and your dick? You don't teach grandma to such eggs.

Which eggs?

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 9th June 2018, 7:04pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,915 posts

Daleks occasionally skip breakfast. Eggs terminate.

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Flook

  • Sunday 10th June 2018, 8:36am
  • Devon, England
  • 272 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 9th June 2018, 7:04 PM

Daleks occasionally skip breakfast. Eggs terminate.

Oh yea - so how'd they feed themselves

[ Im practising my heckling ]

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 10th June 2018, 12:55pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,915 posts

Cross between a chicken and a cow was upset. Fowl mooed.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 11th June 2018, 6:17pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,915 posts

What's the difference between aperitivo and apericena? 25 Euros.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 13th June 2018, 12:39pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,915 posts

Don't you hate it when someone phones you and you miss it but call them back and the wanker never answers? That's why I stopped working for the Samaritans.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 18th June 2018, 6:30pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,915 posts

I felt a failure last night. Still, finally got a fiver out of my dad.

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Flook

  • Monday 18th June 2018, 7:41pm
  • Devon, England
  • 272 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 18th June 2018, 6:30 PM

I felt a failure last night. Still, finally got a fiver out of my dad.

[Heckling] was it to go away [/Heckling]

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Tuesday 19th June 2018, 6:25pm [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,915 posts

You haven't seen my dad.
Tiziano Ferro said he always goes to the same church. I said, Where do you sit? He said, Mai più. (I'm really, really sorry.)

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Chappers

  • Tuesday 19th June 2018, 8:57pm
  • Surreyish., England
  • 29,739 posts

Well I get the My Pew bit but what does it mean?

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Flook

  • Thursday 21st June 2018, 11:45am
  • Devon, England
  • 272 posts

Why are my my jokes like a porn actress' undies? They're never on 'air

[Fluke thumps forehead, half pirouettes and expires.]