British Comedy Guide

Tell us a joke Page 212

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Flook

  • Wednesday 16th May 2018, 2:30pm [Edited]
  • Devon, England
  • 198 posts

What's the difference between Moses and a porn model? Moses has 'Aaron.

Nope

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Wednesday 16th May 2018, 4:01pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,481 posts

Why are dentists welcome on nights out with the lads..

Because they are good at pulling 'em and drilling 'em..

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 18th May 2018, 12:54pm [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,456 posts

My dentist looks like Mel C. I'd give her a filling.

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Friday 18th May 2018, 6:31pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,481 posts

Not original, but one I like a lot.

Dentist turned bus driver is fixing something on the dashboard and moaning that he hasn't been issued with any tools.

YOUNG LADY PASSENGER:
Do you need a screwdriver?

DENTIST TURNED BUS DRIVER:
Not while I'm mending the bus love, thanks.

:P

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 19th May 2018, 11:29am [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,456 posts

Ming never thanks me in French. Pretty merciless. (I'm really, really sorry.)

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 19th May 2018, 1:43pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,456 posts

What's the difference between options and my mother's legs? Options aren't always open.

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Alfred J Kipper

  • Saturday 19th May 2018, 2:19pm
  • Aldershot, England
  • 5,422 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 19th May 2018, 11:29 AM

Ming never thanks me in French. Pretty merciless. (I'm really, really sorry.)

Ha ha. Don't be

Driving along the road in Ireland the other day Patrick came across a little boy in floods of tears by the road side. Patrick stopped and asked what the matter was. The boy sobbed and said his beloved dog had just been run over. Patrick sympathised and offered to get Father Murphy the local priest there. The boy looked up and said 'No please don't, the last thing I want is sex right now.'

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 20th May 2018, 11:07am [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,456 posts

Love it.
They've taken the book of Ruth out of the Bible. Ruthless!

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