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Tell us a joke Page 212

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Flook

  • Wednesday 16th May 2018, 2:30pm [Edited]
  • Devon, England
  • 257 posts

What's the difference between Moses and a porn model? Moses has 'Aaron.

Nope

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Wednesday 16th May 2018, 4:01pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,484 posts

Why are dentists welcome on nights out with the lads..

Because they are good at pulling 'em and drilling 'em..

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 18th May 2018, 12:54pm [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

My dentist looks like Mel C. I'd give her a filling.

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Friday 18th May 2018, 6:31pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,484 posts

Not original, but one I like a lot.

Dentist turned bus driver is fixing something on the dashboard and moaning that he hasn't been issued with any tools.

YOUNG LADY PASSENGER:
Do you need a screwdriver?

DENTIST TURNED BUS DRIVER:
Not while I'm mending the bus love, thanks.

:P

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 19th May 2018, 11:29am [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

Ming never thanks me in French. Pretty merciless. (I'm really, really sorry.)

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 19th May 2018, 1:43pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

What's the difference between options and my mother's legs? Options aren't always open.

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Alfred J Kipper

  • Saturday 19th May 2018, 2:19pm
  • Aldershot, England
  • 5,473 posts
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 19th May 2018, 11:29 AM

Ming never thanks me in French. Pretty merciless. (I'm really, really sorry.)

Ha ha. Don't be

Driving along the road in Ireland the other day Patrick came across a little boy in floods of tears by the road side. Patrick stopped and asked what the matter was. The boy sobbed and said his beloved dog had just been run over. Patrick sympathised and offered to get Father Murphy the local priest there. The boy looked up and said 'No please don't, the last thing I want is sex right now.'

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Sunday 20th May 2018, 11:07am [Edited]
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

Love it.
They've taken the book of Ruth out of the Bible. Ruthless!

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 23rd May 2018, 11:07am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

What goes up must come down. Tell that to Berlusconi's cock.
Cow told me it had 35469 offspring. What a load of bullocks.

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Chappers

  • Wednesday 23rd May 2018, 5:49pm [Edited]
  • Surreyish., England
  • 29,264 posts

I heard the suppository song on the radio.

The only way is up!

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Friday 25th May 2018, 12:10pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

What's the difference between wounds and balls? You don't want to lick your wounds.

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Frankie Mildly Perturbed

  • Friday 25th May 2018, 2:18pm [Edited]
  • London, United Kingdom
  • 5,484 posts

Memoirs of a 'cubs' Camp weekend away..

It was Saturday night after bbq and lights out and the whole camp was in a state of High Cockalorum !. Even the old Arkela (who was very kindly sharing his tent with one of the younger boys..) was cock-a-hoop.. Riding a cock horse was definitely the game to play and when the bell for sleep 'tight' was tolling, there was a real heady rush to come quickly.. the memory is enough to warrant a further woggle of the old toggle.. Smarmy

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Saturday 26th May 2018, 10:31am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

My mother is the opposite of a killer. Wants her fingerprints ON the weapon.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Wednesday 6th June 2018, 12:21pm
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 3,657 posts

To convince my parents I'm gay, I had to bust my ass.

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