British Comedy Guide

I went to a restaurant Page 6

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Steve Sunshine

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 1:54am
  • Dagenham, England
  • 14,540 posts

I went to a restaurant with Jesus
He asked to see the water list.

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playfull

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 2:03am
  • Nottingham, England
  • 1,704 posts

I went to Jongleurs and said I'd like what the stand ups get...the waitress just laughed at me...

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sootyj

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 9:18am
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

Steve and Playfull nice, is anyone going to twitter these.

I went to a gay restaurant in Sochi, I said I'll have what the staff are having.

So I got 7 years.

I went to Jimmy Savilles restaurant, I said I'll have what the staff are having
I had issues.

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Blobster

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 5:19pm
  • Providence, Rhode Island, United States
  • 321 posts

There's a new restaurant just opened near me, "Agoraphobia", I walked in to give it a try but there was nobody there. So I tried another new one next door, "Paranoia"... the Maitre d' whisked me into a private room and asked me if I'd been followed... not liking the feel of the place I walked across the street to "Transgender - A New Dining Experience"... seemed nice enough so I said I'd have what everyone else was having. I left with a sex-change, a brand new wardrobe and an obsessive love of musicals. Think I'll just eat in this week.

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DirtyRottenEgg

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 7:30pm
  • Birmingham, England
  • 33 posts

I went to a football manager's restaurant, they gave me a table for for two.

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gappy

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 7:54pm
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,018 posts

I went to the wrong restaurant and said, I'll have what the staff are having. The waiter replied, "Looks like backstroke, sir".

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stonked

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 8:01pm
  • Wisbech, England
  • 226 posts

I went to a dental surgeon's restaurant and said I'll have what the staff are having. They brought me a selection of pies, all without fillings.

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sean knight

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 11:44pm
  • England
  • 318 posts

I went to the restraunt on the Space Station. Talk about a misnomer, you couldn't swing a cat in there never mind have a three course sit down meal.

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danphobic

  • Sunday 12th January 2014, 11:54pm [Edited]
  • london, England
  • 224 posts

So they brought me some acid......

Wait..............

I asked the staff about the walls melting, something else....

Did I already tell you about the jim morrison restaurant?

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DirtyRottenEgg

  • Monday 13th January 2014, 12:50am
  • Birmingham, England
  • 33 posts

I went to a restaurant for the blind and said, I'll have what the staff are having. They brought me a steak & braille pie.

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Michael Monkhouse

  • Monday 13th January 2014, 8:58am
  • Eternal City, Italy
  • 4,678 posts

Geri Halliwell is now a waitress. She says, 'Tell me what you want, what you really really want.'

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Marc P

  • Monday 13th January 2014, 9:36am
  • England
  • 17,698 posts

I went to a rest room the other day and asked for a big portion of amuse bouche. I then had to hurriedly explain to George Michael that I had misunderstood the construction formula of this thread.

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danphobic

  • Monday 13th January 2014, 9:45am [Edited]
  • london, England
  • 224 posts

I went to that new antenatal eatery the other day and asked what the staff were having and they said they wanted it to be a surprise.

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Rupe

  • Monday 13th January 2014, 11:45am
  • Espoo, Finland
  • 116 posts

I went to a Metafiction restaurant, but the food was half-baked - just like this joke.

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Blobster

  • Monday 13th January 2014, 12:26pm
  • Providence, Rhode Island, United States
  • 321 posts

I went to an amnesiac's restaurant the other day... oh wait, no, it was the post office. I ordered the steak but got a sheet of first class stamps instead.