British Comedy Guide

I went to a restaurant

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sootyj

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 9:50am
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

I invented this joke format ages ago and wondered if anyone else fancied playing with it

I went to a Tibetan restaurant and said I'll have what the staff are having.
So the guy from the Chinese restaurant next door shot me.

I went to a Palestinian restaurant and said I'll have what the staff are having
So they put 12 Israelis on my table and told me they booked 3000 years ago

You get the idea

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Lazzard

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 10:03am
  • Ludlow, England
  • 4,571 posts

I went to Heston Blumenthal's restaurant and said "I'll have what the staff are having"

So we all had a laugh.

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sootyj

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 10:09am
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

Very nice!

I went to an annorexic restaurant, I said I'll have what the staff are having

So I had nothing

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Rupe

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 10:16am
  • Espoo, Finland
  • 116 posts

-- I was on the first day of a six-month posting abroad, and at lunchtime I went out of my office, took the lift downstairs, went straight into the first restaurant I saw and said 'I'll have what the staff are having.'

-- Bit of a risk, wasn't it?

-- Not really. It was the staff restaurant.

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stonked

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 10:19am [Edited]
  • Wisbech, England
  • 226 posts

I went to Gordon Ramsay's restaurant and said "I'll have what the staff are having"

So Gordon came out and told me to f**k off.

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gappy

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 10:36am [Edited]
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,002 posts

I went to ther local takeaway and said, "I'll have what the staff have", so they gave me a forged visa.

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Neillg

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 10:38am
  • Wirral, United Kingdom
  • 88 posts

I went to the House Of Commons restaurant and said 'I'll have what the staff are having.'
They offered me part-time work, no human rights whatsoever and a regular shafting every time Parliament was in session.
I considered the offer for a bit, but decided to turn it down as I wasn't keen on the part time hours.

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stonked

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:00am
  • Wisbech, England
  • 226 posts

I went to a window cleaner's restaurant and said "I'll have what the staff are having"

So they brought me Mrs Jones from number 47

I went to a creationist's restaurant and said "I'll have what the staff are having."

So they brought me a load of half-baked ideas.

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Rupe

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:00am
  • Espoo, Finland
  • 116 posts

I went to an Old Testament themed lap-dancing establishment where there were some very curvaceous young ladies cavorting around, and I said to one of them, 'I'll have what the staff are having' - so she brought me the head of John the Baptist on a plate.

Another customer leaned across and said to me, 'I got the same thing. I think it must be a language problem - what I said was I was looking for some head'.

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gappy

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:05am
  • Oxford, England
  • 2,002 posts

I had a terrible meal at the canteen of the Erectile Disfunction Clinic. When I complained the manager said, "Well, we just can't get the staff".

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sootyj

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:11am
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

I went to a intemperate politicians restaurant, I said I'll have what the staff are having.
The waiter wrote down what I said and then handed it back to me.

I went to a self service restaurant
I brought my own sandwiches.

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Badge

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:23am
  • London, England
  • 9,490 posts

I went to a wild-west restaurant with gunslingers a-shootin' all over. I went for the duck.

I went to a mathematicians' restaurant hoping for a square meal, but they only had pi.

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sootyj

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:25am
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

Second one maybe made up of other jokes but its still a booyah

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stonked

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:34am
  • Wisbech, England
  • 226 posts

I went to a takeaway restaurant and said "I'll have what the staff are having."

So they brought me a meal and then took it away and gave it to the staff.

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sootyj

  • Monday 2nd December 2013, 11:38am
  • England
  • 51,287 posts

I went to the days of the Raj takeaway and said I'll have what the staff are having

So they took my country away