dellas makes good money as a Buster Bloodvessel impersonator.

Chipolata is a grizzled, old, retired farmer. Twenty years ago he had an accident when he forgot his specs one morning and inadvertently tried to milk a bull. It traumatised him, and nowadays he sits in the pub all day never speaking to anyone just taking infrequent sips from a pint of mild, and occasionally mumbling under his breath 'Beware the single udder'

Ishy is so vain, He changes his eyeshadow everyday.

dellas once looked in the mirror and saw the Mona Lisa on the toilet.

Bill Jaguar answers the phone with a meow.

To Bombay
A traveling circus came
They brought an intelligent elephant
And L.E. was her name
One dark night
She slipped her iron chain
And off she ran to Hindustan
And was never seen again

Ooooooooooooo...

L.E. the Elephant packed her trunk
And said goodbye to the circus
Off she went with a trumpety-trump
Trump, trump, trump
L.E. the Elephant packed her trunk
And trundled back to the jungle
Off she went with a trumpety-trump
Trump, trump, trump

Night by night
She danced to the circus band
When L.E. was leading the big parade
She looked so proud and grand
No more tricks
For L.E. to perform
They taught her how to take a bow
And she took the crowd by storm

The head of the herd was calling
Far, far away
They met one night in the silver light
On the road to Mandalay
So L.E. the Elephant packed her trunk
And said goodbye to the circus
Off she went with a trumpety-trum
Trump, trump, trump

Ooooooooooooo...

L.E. the Elephant packed her trunk
And said goodbye to the circus
Off she went with a trumpety-trump
Trump, trump, trump
L.E. the Elephant packed her trunk
And trundled back to the jungle
Off she went with a trumpety-trump
Trump, trump, trump

Bob Hicks has an unusual hobby. He likes to fart at funerals. He would often attend the funerals of complete strangers just for the sole objective of farting at them. He likes to drop silent ones in the middle of the cortege and then watch the mourners' faces contort whilst he tries to keep a straight face. His record for funerals in one day is nine, all of the deceased were unknown to him and he trumped like a bastard at every one. In fact, it would have been ten funerals but he shit himself and had to go home and get cleaned up.

Nigel Kelly had a threesome with a turtle and a crow.

Charley has got clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clapclap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clapclap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clapclap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap clap on her clap on her clap

Will Cam gave Charley the clap, clap

Charley uses the promises of 'backdoor passion' to get whatever she wants from her husband. So far this year, she's got a fridge freezer, an iPad and a full set of Teflon pans.

Unbeknownst to her husband, when Charley does finally surrender her chutney cave for plundering, the three bottles of laxatives consumed beforehand, will result in what can only be described as a poo juice tsunami.

This will ensure that Mr. Charley's wizzy winkle will never ventures towards her beef hula hoop every again.

Renegade Carpark taught today's music artists how to use autotune and is the mastermind behind the mind of Stephen Hawking.

Bill Jaguar can nail a melon to a tree using the power of his gooch.

A webcam is a video camera that feeds its images in real time to a computer.

A willcam is a video camera that feeds off the soul of anybody without a sense of humour.

Bob Hicks is the descendant of the all-powerful Rhino King Galagathar and has the ability to shoot rainbows from his anus.