WillCam often stands in for Will.I.Am when the Black Eyed Peas are a man down.

Elliott Gill is still out looking for a left handed screwdriver and a pot of rainbow coloured paint after been sent out get some while on work experience at MENSA in 1997...

Tuumble tried to go into business recycling wizards' belongings, but he couldn't get the staff.

Big Jack spent a long time working on his 'wizard' joke.

Tim spent no time at all in replying in cynical fashion.

Dellas has a snow fetish

She is currently in her back yard having a nude gangbang with four snowmen

She built the snowmen herself and the traditional carrot was employed in their creation

Not as noses however....

Lofthouse is sick and tired of his ungrateful elderly neighbours. He's just had an ear bashing from one of them, despite spending ages last night pouring buckets of cold water on their paths and road just so they could experience the visceral, childhood thrill of an icy slide.

When he was eight, Ishy used to think that Sgt Bilko was his dad and wrote a begging letter to Nat Hiken asking him to introduce them. He even provided a stamped addressed envelope. Nat, quite rightly, shat in the envelope and sent it back. Ishy chose 'show and tell' in Miss Rimswell's class to open the envelope after boasting that the reply from his 'famous dad' would out-do Linda Crowe's rat bite. At school reunions he is still called Ishy poo-poo.

*The strange twist is that Bilko was his father (Doberman was his mother)

Will Cam's mother had been squatting under my kilt for over five years to show solidarity with; Woman Against The Vietnam War. She defeated all attempts at eviction and eventually left of her own free will (about nine months after John Lennons surprise visit) to give birth to a baby boy. The new born then grabbed a Japanese baby in the next bed and attempted to climb back into his mothers womb with her while singing; "You will cam with me baby.."

Allan OB is English.

Renegade carpark is actually a rather conventional car park based in Huddersfield. Parking is free after 6pm and before 8am and all day on Sunday.

Tom G spent two weeks last summer referring to himself in the third person as 'G Shock' in the hopes it would catch on. It didn't.

During the film 'Last Tango in Paris' RC played the 'butter'

Renegade Carpark can change the clutch on a gay priest in 12 minutes.

Will Cam is a tiler. Recently though the work has dried up, so in attempt to garner himself more jobs from the local mums, Will has remodelled himself as the 'Erotic Tiler'. The 'erotic' element merely involves Will doing the grouting in his underpants. Despite feeling humiliated by having to resort to such measures, the real low point came last week when he had to work on a job in a tiny kitchen with his mate Phil, 'The corpulent, incredibly hairy, Naked Plumber'