Beaky mixes flour into his own urine to thicken it, and then serves it up as mushy pees.

I ate a whole jar of smooth peanut butter on toast the other night, it was beautiful.

At least it was until I realized that it had been a jar of crunchy peanut and that Nogget had individually picked out all the crunchy bits, chewed them up and spat them back into the jar. What a f**ker.....

Stylee hasn't posted since December because he lent that micro-penis to Max Clifford.

Will Cam is very small and has to use a tiny pair of steps in order to take up skirt photos when he visits the Arndale Centre.

Old Rocker is actually on loan from the Shanghai Municipal library and whoever borrowed him owes 234,987 yuan in fines.

If sooty was stretched to being only a millimeter thick, he'd stretch from Birmingham to Carlisle.

beaky has NOT been awarded a Michelin star for his Alex Salmond themed fish restaurant due to his poor spelling

Tuumble cuts the bum cheeks out of his salopettes and speed walks down busy dual carriageways

Paulus thinks Scotland should become independent because it's cruel to keep all those tins of Iron Bru in captivity. What a big soft shite he is.

Will Cam is the elderly gentleman on the TV advert where he is trying to video chat with the two ladies who work at his local bank

The part that is never shown is a sequence at the end where he pulls his penis out and begins waving it menacingly at the shocked ladies

"That's FANTASTIC!"

lofthouse is from Notlob

Tuumble has a face tattooed on his bottom and walks on his hands.

Beaky is waiting for someone to reply to his post so he can reply and claim his 1000th.

He can't wait as he sits there with his scrawny fingers poised.

HGT learnt to drive in a combined harvester once owned by Jimmy Clitheroe.

"WILL CAM!" was the headline in the Sun newspaper when he was caught filming men's private bits in public toilets.