Danphobic bought all of Tom Huddlestone's hair for Charity...which is lovely.

But as a Barnsley fan he intends to use it to make a voodoo doll...which is terrible...

Playful doesn't write any of his posts

They are all done for him by a local teenager called Nigel who has to do them as part of his community service after being found guilty of smuggling budgies into the country in his underpants

Lofthouse was actually a joke that got taken a bit too far, but it's too late to back out now.

Danphobic has just started a new job miss selling PPI...

Playfull once made a lifelong vow never again to say the letter 'T'.
He accidentally invented the worlds first goat-wool pencil-rubber whilst trying to ask for information about Mother Teresa and actually repeatedly saying 'Mo-her Ere-sa' which was overheard by Richard Branson who coincidentally was attempting to be the first person to traverse the Natural History Museum in a hollowed out can of 'Virgin Cola'.

Danphobic plans to be the first BCGer in space by building a very, very , very VERY tall ladder in his shed

Lofthouse is so good at doing gang signs with his fingers that last year he became the world record transfer signing, moving from the Bloods to the Crips for 2 copies of hustler and a peanut brittle...true dat...

Playfulls Motto is "keep dry & keeep away from children"
Which he got from a box of matches.

Steve Sunshine was once mistaken for an African deity and ruled the small kingdom of Evonnegoolagong for twelve years until he was found in flagrante with the local tribal leaders goat.

The goat turned out to be Roscoff in a costume.

Isaac Newton did not discover gravity when an apple fell from a tree instead it was GB who had been hiding in said tree trying to get a gander at Mrs Newtons pears as she took a bath. However he lost his footing and fell from the tree right beside the snoozing scientist. 'Gordon Bennett!' he exclaimed 'I've just discovered Gravity.' That is why Gravity is also known as Gordon Bennett's Law.

Tim Azure invented the 'fist bump' in the 60's when he was commissioned by the World Health Organisation to create a new ultra hygenic hand-based greeting gesture that could be used by mango traders to prevent the epidemic of man(go) flu across the pacific trading routes. It superceded the 'genital shake' which was deemed 'too silly' by ministers and abassadors. The gesture was largely unsuccesful but was appropriated by sailors throughout jamaica and onto the UK and US where young rebelious youths continue to greet using the most hygenic method of manual greetings as deemed by the WHO to this day.

Danphobic does a version of Buster Bloodvessel's 'Lip up fatty' using just paper and a comb that will break your heart...

Playfull once organized an infinite amount of Shakespeares to record the Monkees greatest hits.

SS deep fries his breakfast Weetabix.