(Jenny wears no shoes?)

SootyJ is really funny...

Playfull phones the met office to take responsibility for the flooding because he wee's in the river Dee every morning.

Sootyj has the ability to travel anywhere in time or space, but chooses not to.

playfull has an elongagted left kneecap which, in the right light, has a passing resemblance to Jimmy Hill. In fact, his kneecap was briefly Mr Hill's stunt double on Match of the Day in 1978 before a row with BBC Sport bosses during a fourth round FA Cup tie between Blyth Spartans and Stoke City led to him being replaced...by his much shorter, and less charismatic, right knee.

Tuumble is fuming that the death of Nelson Mandela got 24 hour news coverage for an entire week but the demise of Mikhail Kalshnikov got nary a mention - even though he did more to affect real political change on a global level throughout the 20th and 21st centuries then any singular hyped up politician.

Oh no, wait, that was me.

Renegade Carpark is an inveterate ranter..

...
Oh hang on I'm supposed to make an unfounded claim...

Returning to the uk after spending many years in the far east Billwill was disappointed in the sales of his Vietnamese recipe cookbook 'A Hundred Ways to Wok Your Dog'...

A little known fact about Playfull is that he is the all England Weasel shaving champion, His record of shaving ten weasels in three minuets is widely agreed to be an unbeatable record.

Father Jack once filled in all the plug sockets in Buckingham Palace with some special cream what he happened to have.

Shhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh....

Tim Azure has been on the naughty step for the last 15 years.

John Lucas has refused to give Tim Azure back his favourite photograph of Satsuma faced Judith Chalmers. This raises obvious questions as to it's current condition.

Playfull *is* Judith Chalmers.

(Could I please have a fresh photo, Judith?)

John Lucas does not dress up as a giant chicken.

Few people realise that Nogget has an addiction to chocolate covered Otters noses so much so that he has caused a worldwide shortage of Otters noses.

Father Jack is completely open and unrepentant about his perverted kinky Masonry fetish...