Series 1, Episode 6
Margaret and Michael are in a restaurant. The waiter hands them a menu each. When the wine waiter appears from behind Margaret's back and hands her a wine list, she screams.
Kate and Ellen are working. Kate starts a conversation about Cornwall and makes Ellen guess how long it took her to get to Cornwall. The AA said it would take her four and a half hours - it only took her four hours. And ten minutes.
Elaine Figgis (now Wainwright) is at home, in front of a makeshift shrine to her husband, who is currently on death row, awaiting execution. She is presented with a handful of problems - magic candles, time zones and oven alarms.
Kate and Ellen are working at their desks. Kate starts to brag about her personal trainer and makes Ellen guess how far she ran last night.
Bernie enters Sister's office. She apologises for being late. Sister informs her that she would benefit from an unofficial assessment, so she asks her some questions. Bernie later reveals that she didn't kill Mr Thompson, a critically ill patient - despite having taken him on a night out to see Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
Lauren and Liese are in the shopping centre and Lauren is not bovvered that Ryan hasn't invited her to the party.
Margaret is in her office, talking to her husband on her mobile phone. She wants him to call her on the landline because she doesn't like speaking on the mobile. She puts the phone down and waits. As the phone rings, she screams.
Geoff is sitting alone in the pub and Bunty arrives. He tells her that he was quite surprised when he came home from his holiday, as he read that Bunty had held a one-woman protest at her expulsion from the group. Geoff explains that the average age for a Doncaster spinner is 6 - Bunty is 31. He presents her with a restraining order, as she has left them no option. As she walks out, she puts 'Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?' on the jukebox.
Margaret and her husband are celebrating their anniversary and she is frightened by the pop of the champagne cork.
Kate and Ellen are working at their desks. Kate asks Ellen to guess what she is thinking. Ellen immediately guesses and Kate replies: 'Freak!'
Jamie visits his nan and she tells him that he's not the only visitor she's had today. His sister came to her flat to visit her with her baby. Nan quickly explains that she has never seen such an ugly child - ''It's like a big hairy elf looking at you!'' As she continues to insult the baby's father, Jamie asks her: ''Why are you like that, Nan?'' The sketch ends with Nan singing and dancing to 'I Am What I Am'.
- Monday 22nd March 2004
- BBC Two
- 30 minutes
Cast & crew
|Rebecca Front||'Elaine Figgis' Documentary Narrator|
|Buki Armstrong||Ensemble Actor|