Sootyj may walk like a crab

but Harridan caught him after hooking up with Micheal Mcintyre at one of his stadium gigs

gross

sootyj is the 17th Doctor

The hat in Harridan's profile picture is not her own and she also does not own a book.

DeathbyMonkey's profile picture is actually what they look like in real life.

Sam is a communist.

Gordon was once employed by a Swiss cheese manufacturer, and his job was to fill the holes with hallucinogenic gas.

Nogget is the best part of the chocken.

Every Christmas Eve L.E. runs over Tower Bridge naked except for two ferrets hanging from her arms

Roscoff is the real Santa but he quit after he saw that movie where Whoopi Goldberg's dreadlocks turn white and she starts delivering presents. He decided he could never be so cool and settled into a job at UPS where he intentionally knocks boxes marked 'fragile' onto the floor to deal with his crippling feeling of inadequacy. George Alagiah has been delivering presents since he quit, which is why you never see him on Christmas eve.

Harridan has a startling obsession with me. She stalks me everywhere I go, so much so that I once found her hiding in the cistern of the public toilet I was about to use.

Harridan is also a public toiletophile

Death by monkey is in fact not a monkey

He may however be death

Quote: L.E. @ 21st November 2013, 2:45 PM GMT

Nogget is the best part of the chocken.

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Booyah!

Sooty has never had Harry Corbett's hand up his bottom - or so he claims.

Beaky is in fact a wolf in sheep's clothing.

DeathbyMonkey keeps a sausage behind the TV in the belief that it improves reception.

Nogget outbid BT Sports to televise Sootyj's ingrown toenail removal.