Nil told Dirty Harry to take a bath

when he watched Magnum Force last night

Putters is the original Coop divvy.

Will Cam is leaving the north since Hull won city of culture he doesn't know where hes going

sooty's avatar is actually a photograph of himself on a pogo stick.

Actually its me practising my pole dancing

Zooos favourite dinosaur is the doyouthinkhesaurus

Like the witch in the Wizard of Oz Sooty is allergic to water which means he hasn't washed in 26 years. The smelly old thing!

Roscoff refues to believe in the existenece of oceans and has almost drowned 23 times

The RNLI now spend a year following him everywhere in a road capable boat, this costs a million pounds a year

Sootyj was Kevin Bacon's body double in Footloose and did all the dancing.

During The Oscars Harridan sprays herself gold and sits in a bath of beans quaffing copious amounts of champagne (This might actually be true)

99,999 of the obsene terms banned by Google, refer exculsively to Roscoff

(how did you know?)

sootyj has chandeliers in all of his rooms and hangs car air fresheners from them to hide the scent of his pet. No one has ever seen his pet.

Because I can't Google him no more

Harridan is solar powered, so whilst shes very enviromentally friendly shes useless in the winter

True.

sootyj licks tomato soup cans in the supermarket and puts them back on the shelf.

Harridan follows Sootyj in supermarkets and only takes the tins of soup he's licked

sootyj walks like a crab. He has detachable pincers and additional legs.