- Friday 8th March 2019, 11:54am
- United Kingdom
- 156 posts
Quote: Wishus @ 8th March 2019, 11:46 AM
@BTF - loved 5G, and @Danno - the Simon Pegg one! @Sillysausage and @AuditChris - I bow to you!
Here are mine:
1. The NHS will be offering women free sanitary products in hospitals from this summer, in the hope that they'll free up beds by roller-skating out of the ward.
2. Scientists have claimed UK shipping waters are so noisy that whales are forced to shout to each other, but it turns out they are all trying to communicate while listening to their podcast.
3. Katy Perry and Orlando Bloom have announced they're getting married at Disney World. Orlando could dress as his character Will Turner on the Pirates of the Caribbean Ride, but Katy will need her own theme, as she's never hit the high seas.
1. Stronger Towns Fund -- money to buy people living in deprived areas extra cans of spinach.
2. Space-CEX -- high street store where you can buy and sell Elon Musk's old rockets.
3. Smear-test -- exam for journalists who want to write for the Daily Mail.
GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
1. It's been a good week for the Royal Family, who have announced that they have taken steps to banish trolls from their social media. It's been a bad week for Princess Beatrice who has suddenly found herself dropped from their WhatsApp group.
2. It's been a bad week for Jeremy Corbyn, who was pelted with eggs during a visit to a mosque. It's been a good week for Jeremy Corbyn, who had one less ingredient he needed to buy for pancake day.
3. It's been a good week for Theresa May, who won a bet by using the word "simples" in the Commons. It's been a bad week for The Ritz, where Theresa will be taking tea as her prize, as they didn't want to be associated with any more crackers.
Smear test is good.
The one I found very funny was the troll one. It may not be the kind of joke they put on but it was funny/unexpected.