- Thursday 14th March 2019, 6:44pm [Edited]
- Northampton, England
- 133 posts
And lo, the last of my rejected jokes for the series...
The typical basket of goods used to calculate the rate of inflation has been updated with Smart Speakers for the first time, prompting members of the public to say, Alexa, please stop adding other Alexas to the shopping basket.
Scottish National Party MP, Angus Robertson, has told the Welsh party Plaid Cymru that they are too focussed on Welsh matters and need a rebrand. However, the Welsh politicians became suspicious of his motives when he suggested changing 'plaid' to Tartan.
Kelsey Grammar has revealed that his show Frasier is set for a reboot, or as the British stars of the show would call it: "a whole new clog on one of me hooves, guv'nor!"
#TrashTag: spoiling really good graffiti by adding rubbish graffiti.
Pineapple: longing for the days when people would just eat normal fruit normally.
Superdry: the level of humour in the Captain Marvel movie.
GOOD WEEK/BAD WEEK:
It's been a bad week for the internet, after its creator, Sir Tim Berners-Lee said it was heading towards "a dysfunctional future" due to the spread of misinformation. It's been a good week for Sir Tim Berners-Lee, whose Wikipedia entry no longer links to Johnny Lee Miller, Rusty Lee, or Bernie Winters and Schnorbitz. For now.
It's been a good week for late night dessert parlours, which have undergone a recent boom in popularity. It's been a bad week for pubs who serve beers with a lot of head, as customers really do want a flake in that.
It has been a bad week for pervs on the Manchester National Express after police stopped a coach to arrest a couple of strangers having sex. It has been a good week for pervs on Northern Rail, as the trains are so crowded, they can get away with dry-humping strangers every day.