Give a dog a bone!
Tell us a joke Page 71
Quote: Nick81 @ 27th August 2014, 3:08 PM BSTWhy did the Manchester United fan cross the road?
To enquire about ticket prices at the Etihad.
That doesn't work. None of them live in Manchester.
Quote: Chappers @ 27th August 2014, 9:25 PM BSTThat doesn't work. None of them live in Manchester.
They fans could be from the moon, but they still play at old Trafford 
I'm going to go mental if someone makes another Man Utd joke!
No Mata how Cleverley
Not my usual cuppa...more of a Frankie Boyle number to be honest.
I'm so competitive I decided to join ISIS just to get a-head.
It's Oxbridge all the bloody time on here. Let it go Craig!!
I'm always getting mixed up between fiction and non-fiction.
One is real and the other is tripe.
Dirtiest place I've been in?
Paris Hilton
My doctor told me if I didn't stop drinking I'd be dead within a year.
So I'm spending every penny I have on booze, selling my house, cashing in all my bonds and even trading in my pension 10 years early,
The way I see it is:
If I've only got a year to live, get pissed and enjoy it.
If I live longer than a year, drinking every day to excess! then I can sue that useless doctor for mal practise!!!!!
My Doctor said that I need to stop shouting I am the law
Otherwise in a year I could be Dredd
Because women like to discuss their problems,
I thought I'd stand a better chance with online dating, if I pointed out I knew a little bit about therapy.
I'm now starting to realise I might have created a misunderstanding with the username "therapistdave"!
Would like some feedback on my latest attempt at joke writing.
I once befriended a holly bush but it quickly became a thorn in my side.
My dad was always getting high at work and to this day I've been put off gymnastics.
Alternative version: My dad was always getting high at work and to this day I've been put off the monkey bars. (Not sure this ones obvious enough)
I recently got into a fight with a dwarf ... let's just say we didn't see eye to eye. I tried to reason with him but everything I said went straight over his head. Apparently I was talking down to him. Well I was hardly gonna talk up to him, was I?
This joke would be done straight after another:
Moving on, the founder of segways died driving one off a cliff. That wasn't the best segway was it?
Still new to this so any critique is appreciated. If you don't think one works then let me know.
The first makes no sense. The second doesn't doesn't have a causal link strong enough in it. The third one denies any socio-cultural development in comedy from the last forty years. The last one the Segway is named after the word segue meaning a smooth transition which I guess you know which is spelled differently. So if to be a joke written down best to get the spelling right. If said aloud it's a bit on the nose and needs a rethink I would suggest. It's not easy writing jokes so good to persist and get feedback. Others may come along to rewrite for you again but best trick is to try harder yourself to shape your material.
Why do you ask Stylee?
But yes I have.
Quote: CallumS @ 29th August 2014, 9:54 PM BSTWould like some feedback on my latest attempt at joke writing.
I once befriended a holly bush but it quickly became a thorn in my side.
On this one for example Callum it makes no sense because why would you befriend a bush? I see what you are doing in a Tim Vine sort of way... But maybe link it to tree huggers or something to give it a more believable set up before the punch if you see what I mean?