Make an unfounded claim about the poster above you Page 28

Will has "done" Dallas.

Kevin Murphy travels Spain stealing thongs from washing lines. He is just about to move into Portugal and do the same.

Juan kerr was the front end of Red Rum for all three of his Grand National wins. Sootyj was the back end.

Will Cam was a Moff in the Imperial Star Empire but was fired for stealing teabags and printer paper from the Death Star.

He now works in admin for Ming of Mongo.

He's not very good at his job and has terrible phone manners.

Sootyj was the 1157th pebble (from the left) in David Bowie's video for Ashes to Ashes. Steve Strange almost stands on him (Sootyj claims he actually did to impress women he stalks).

Will Cam used to dress up as Smurfettes to seduce chilly midgets

Sootyj's name is hidden in braille in all official copies of the Mental Health Act.

Sootyj presents the Swedish version of the Antiques Roadshow. I helps pay for his builders' crack habit.

Tuumble has his finger on the pulse

Carole Vorderman I secretly Will Cam in a wig.

Quote: Will Cam @ September 13 2010, 1:17 PM BST

Sootyj's name is hidden in braille in all official copies of the Mental Health Act.

Amazing :D

Nat Wicks was Raoul Moat's (very bad)anger management consultant. Indeed, it was Nat who 'took him out' with a single shot as she took aim from a nearby grassy knoll. Nat later went on the mother of all piss-ups with Paul Gascoigne in Rothbury. She then sold her story to 'The Daily Blah' in Rothbury - in exchange for sexual favours from Rab C Nesbitt's fatter, uglier brother.

Juan Kerr sleeps inside his own massive nadgers.

John Lucas runs a canine beauty salon 'Doggy style'. He got the idea when he was out dogging with Adrian Chiles and Rod Stewart. Those canines have never been as well turned out since John worked his magic.

Juan Kerr once went for a walk in the forrest where he found a house that was open. On the table were three bowels of porridge. There were also 3 chairs and three beds. Juan thought about trying each but, reverting to type, broke into the 'leccy meter and had a dump on the floor.

Quote: Will Cam @ September 13 2010, 5:07 PM BST

Juan Kerr once went for a walk in the forrest where he found a house that was open. On the table were three bowels of porridge. There were also 3 chairs and three beds. Juan thought about trying each but, reverting to type, broke into the 'leccy meter and had a dump on the floor.

Those bowels of porridge sure taste like crap Will

Will Cam spends Tuesday evening hiding behind Paul McKenna's lounge curtains. He takes a horde of Walnut Whips and Toffee Crisps and Monster Munch with him - and just crunches away - like the crazy dude he is. Paul thinks the munching is a family of mutant rats. Will's droppings are pretty large.