Juan Kerr has a display cabinet full of multi-coloured blancmanges

Tuumble teaches school crossing wardens to dance Salsa in exchange for them queuing up and taking turns to sit on his face whilst they sing a medley from Oklahoma. He bloody loves it.

Juan adopts Chinese babies & eats them with fawn crackers.

Charley stalks around Morrisons in Hull flicking hot frog spawn on shoppers' backs then offers to wipe it off with a pair of Kerry Katona's nylon panties.The Manager there is well pissed off with her by now. What a cow!

Juan Kerr once rode from Darlington to Stockport on Lady Godiva's skateboard, breaking one of the trucks in the process. His back-up crew were the A-Team who, using bits of twigs and roadkill, rebuilt the board in the style of a Maltese bus. This played an important part in the development of the hover mower which Dan Cruishank keeps bleating on about. Juan never saw a penny and is now in Rampton.

Will Cam will be replacing Chris Moyles on the Radio 1 Breakfast Show - thank f**k.

EllieJP has a pet marmoset she calls Nigel.

Timbo has rearranged his limbs in accordance with Feng Shui.

john lucas 101 kicked a panda in the nuts

The Cool Mikado was Richard Madeley's understudy throughout the Richard and Judy Years, having won the part in Lloyd Webber's reality show ' How Do You Shag A Pensioner Like Judy'. The only time he was called upon was when Richard took ill one day. Mikado did a sterling job on the show but blotted his copy book by going to Tesco and half-hinching some Champagne. Poor Richard kopped the blame but, to his credit, never grassed.

Will Cam once worked in a circus as a 'hand reliever' for the resident animals - - male AND female. As often happens with these things, emotions got in the way of professionalism and Will fell for, and married,a camel named Martin. They divorced in 1994. Will is still trying to get rid of the smell from his fingers.

Juan Kerr is never the last person on this thread so no-one ever writes an amusing unfounded claim about him.

Einstein was a lazy bastard. For years he lived of his astounding equation:

Bungle, George and Zippy = Tuumblec2

Will Cam is never the last person on this thread so no-one ever writes an amusing unfounded claim about him.

Tuumble's posts on this thread are always funny and original.