Quote: playfull @ 8th October 2015, 10:57 PM BST

Diane Abbot body...

View original

Payfull was kept captive for years by Dianne Abbot, before finding the note she left 7 years ago clearly stating "let yourself out when you're done". But was he done? Nick Clegg was done (in more ways than one) so was Jeremy, but was he ?

One thing is for sure, if you're in bed with Dianne Abbot, as kind and careing as she is, watch out for a sudden lurch to the left. She never has the money to pay for the resulting hospital bills.

"Up the revolution." is how Playfull would proposition Diane; the true "Queen of Harts".

Nick Nockerty dared Edward Snowden to do it...

Playfull killed a mockingbird

With an air rifle

lofthouse eats tramps socks for breakfast and this afternoon was spotted in his local park hobbling along and urging small boys to 'mind their conkers'..

Frankie Rage has got a photography degree and he got a 2-1 for this photo.

Alex Mahon initially wrote the acclaimed "How to make your Bulldog vicious." which didn't go down well in Spain, so the title was changed to "How to grow a moustache on your Bulldog". Disney are currently bidding for the film rights.

Nick has a drink problem - he keeps pouring it in his ear.

Hercules has no problems at all and when advised that there were pictures of him on the internet in his chamois leather jocks, he retorted that he didn't care if they were left up or taken down.

Frankie Rage has cold hands.

Strumpet

Strumpet was wondering what a Kangaroo was doing in her bedroom this morning, and then it hit her.

Nick Nockerty and his twin sister Nicky Nockerty were once a World re-known trampoline act all over Rotherham but their career almost never got off the ground (as it were..) due to their 30 year argument about what to name the act.

"Come on, come on", said their dad, "we've got to get posters done and the like.." but it weren't no use, they just couldn't agree on a name.

Then after much arjy-barjying, to-ing and fro-ing and hand-wringing, etc. they had a brain wave and crucially chose the name, "The Bouncing Nockerty's".

"It came out of thin air in a flash from where I know not", said Nick.

Well done Nick (and Nicky), well done..

Frankie Rage recently got a job as a news caster on local television.

His first interview was with Mr and Miss Nockerty (sisters). What's it like? He asked about their bouncing careers.

Well, said Nick or Nicky (difficult to tell which), It has it's ups and downs.

budup-push

There was an old tramp puking up at the side of the road when I got off the bus. Some of it looked like dog food so I thought he might be Davey Jay. I asked him but he didn't reply. He didn't say he wasn't Davey Jay.

Frankie Rage was in the world famous Rolling Stones. Well when I say he was in it, he was wrapped around the leg of Mick Jagger. Mick had cut his leg and needed a makeshift bandage so grabbed a groupy back stage, before coming on (although he denies it to this day). Once on Frankie was very hard to remove. Awkward in the shower, but it did make Frankie one of the most successful hangers on in Rock history. Frankie still maintains that Bob Geldof got the idea for Band Aid from him. We salute you Frankie (loved the T shirts).

Truth is Nick was an only child and his parents were very poor. So much so that they could only ever afford to buy him one toy and they used to take it off him around October and re-wrap it and give it back to him at Christmas.

Well, he's 48 now and decided that it was time to move this much treasured toy on and so he opened up an eBay account under the name of Toy-R-Me and put his prize collection of toy up for auction at 99p start.

So far he has had zero bids but remains resolute and says he'll relist if it fails to sell but he recognises he may need to lower his price.