Nick Nockerty has a singing voice so hauntingly beautiful he can bring an entire theatre to tears with just a 5 second burst of Uptown Funk

Steve Sunshine as we think we know him does not actually exist. All his posts are created spontaneously by the forum software, or more precisely by an algorithm created by a glitch within the software...

"His life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the BCG. He is the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite the mods sincerest efforts they have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision. While he remains a burden to be sedulously avoided, he is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led him, inexorably, to here."
The BCG Architect.

In other words 'he is a one'

After eating an adolescent penguin's penis and washing it down with the puss of a three thousand black heads, Playfull's wife suggested he applied for "I'm not a Celebrity get me out of here".

Nick Knockerty loves playing long drawn out gags. The latest of which he has called his 'Lokemo Entertainment' slow burner. He has created a bizzare alter ego based on the speech patterns of Chico Marx crossed with the ego of Donald Trump and the comic timing of a funeral march...

Playfull is over 12 feet tall and as a consequence has only ever seen the top of his wife's head - he has no idea what she actually looks like. If he ever wants to check his tie is straight he has to visit a local hall of mirrors.

Ah well.

Playful once dressed up as Doris Day and sang Secret Love to a passing nun.

Strumpet

Strumpet is Australia's foremost sock model. Her PE teacher encouraged her to get into toe modelling and after a stint at www.foot&kangaroo_fetish.com she is now the world's only Superfootmodel. I take my socks off to you Strumpet.

Nick Nockery used to be called Nick Knackery, but had to change his name after being sued by his own bollocks.

Beaky has been known to whip out his ukulele and strum it while whistling at the local women.

Strumpet

Strumpet was showing me her bush the other day, which she is so proud of and it certainly opened my eyes....................Struth!! Never seen so many kangaroos - most enlightening.

Grytpype Thynne just nicked my dinner while I was on the phone to the local jelly man.

Sarc is about to publish a book which will blow the lid off the establishment by linking together all the best conspiracy theories of the last 50 years. From "why do most conspiracy theorists still live with their Mothers" to "Why do Scalextric cars bloody always come off the track!"

In the book Sarc tells you all the things Julian Assange doesn't want you to know. Why, after over 30 years since he disappeared - we still do not know what happened to Lord Lucan - and why we don't care. It also tries to answer the difficult questions such as - "Why is there only one monopolies commission?" and "If GCHQ is so secret then why do I know about it?"

Get it whilst you can....

Playfull has just discovered a new disease he terms "Assangeritus". Symptoms included modelling your look on Jesus and believing having a crap is an historic event.

I heard that Nock Nickerty is in fact the third Cohen brother. The one who thought the Hudsucker Proxy was a good idea.

True dat.

playfull got his name from always playing pocket billiards.