Gasforth Town FC has achieved the seemingly impossible and made it through to an advanced round of the FA Cup, with their next fixture to be played at home against Chelsea. Fowler and Grim are both worried about crowd control at the match and possibility of encountering Premier League hooligans that generally come with Premier League sides. Grim goes undercover to see what he can pick up locally in the run-up to the match, whilst Fowler trains his men in the use of riot equipment and how to employ intimidation using rhythmic beating on their shields.

The Mayoress decides to use the game as a way of pushing the town's "Relocate in Gasforth" business campaign. As the match will bring both people and the media into the town, she promises to recommend Fowler for an MBE if it all goes well. Grim, meanwhile, becomes a little over-excited and even more self-important than usual when the big boys of the Metropolitan Police liaise with him over the match's policing.

As the day of the game draws nearer, tensions around Gasforth rise. Wary of his MBE, Fowler shuts down a rowdy party the night before the match, whilst Grim pounces on a group talking of "Chelsea scum" in the local pizza restaurant, and Patricia takes the opportunity to arrest a group of builders who have been shouting lewd comments at her for the last few weeks.

All looks set for a smooth and peaceful Saturday afternoon.