Brian is amazed that Clare has remembered Valentine's Day and booked a restaurant. Unfortunately, however, she hasn't.

Brian has put full effort into Valentine's Day, putting a family heirloom ring in the cornflakes, and sorting out a hand painted card, chocolates in a heart-shaped box and a poem. Clare hates Brian overdoing everything but the real reason is because she hasn't done anything at all. Clare lies saying she has a table booked at a restaurant but has to face her mistake when she realises everywhere will be booked out. Clare tries to book a table as J.K Rowling, tries booking at Burger King and even tries St. Joesph's, but it isn't doing a soup kitchen for the homeless. So Clare needs to find a solution fast...

It will be Ray and Troy's first Valentine together and after the office hear about Ray's large inheritance, they all assume that Troy wants Ray for the money.

At school, Simon finds Brian in the gym. Brian is trying Tai-Chi in order to get fit for Clare as he thinks his appearance and health is affecting their sex life. Simon offers to be Brian's trainer but a lot of work has got to be done, especially as Brian is out of breath after putting a shoe on.

Megan has 'the wee squirtees' and isn't present at the team meeting. Clare hands round some figures and statistics to her colleagues. The figures are the results of Brian's sperm test as she and Brian are still trying for a baby. Quoting 'the stuff is rubbish', Clare says she apologises for being a lot more irritable... though it turns out nobody has noticed any difference. A man delivering bottled water (nicknamed water cooler man) is dropping off a supply, only for everyone at the office to be physically obsessed with him. Helen tries to chat him up, but is completely speechless. Ray however compliments him on his fit muscular body, knowing that Troy wouldn't mind.

Spending the afternoon looking for restaurants, Clare has more-or-less given up hope until Megan finds Stir Crazy, a restaurant run by ex-offenders. Clare books it and later takes Brian there.

At another bodybuilding contest, Ray is apologising to Troy who is locked in one of the toilet cubicles. During Troy's time on stage, with whistling and howling from the crowd, Ray attempted to defend him and rushed on stage. As he apologises, he asks Troy to marry him. Ray then has a feeling that there is someone else in the cubicle with Troy.

On the walk to Stir Crazy later that evening, Brian is pleased with Clare's effort and is sorry for assuming that she completely forgot. As they go into the restaurant, Brian becomes less impressed. He calls it empty, dirty and smelly. The waiter is very intimidating, and recommends the takeaway down the road rather than eating in. While waiting for their order, a large number of men in bulky overcoats are walking into the kitchen. Helen arrives, soon followed by water cooler man. Brian thinks it is the worst name for a superhero, and 'hopes that hot beverage dispenser woman doesn't hear about it'. Water cooler man says he loves Scottish accents. Being mistaken for Megan, Helen puts on a Scottish accent just to be with him. As they leave, the waiter hands Clare and Brian the desert menu. Inside it reads that the waiter is an undercover policeman and that Clare and Brian have to leave so the undercover operation can proceed - armed policemen are waiting outside. Just as they are leaving, Megan comes in upset that she has seen Helen with water cooler man. Brain suggests that he, Clare and Megan go for a drink but Megan wants to use the restaurant toilet before going. The supposed 'waiter' won't let Megan in and shouts at them to leave. Megan refuses and the waiter finally agrees, telling her to be quick. Megan tries to give the waiter some good advice but he shouts at her to go. The policemen outside take this as cue to rush in. As they do, a gun is fired and someone falls to the ground. Clare wakes up to find she has fainted. Brian was the one shot.