Coronavirus Page 49

Dick-heads.
And why the masks?
Their great leader doesn't believe in them, and because it's America - the worlds most powerful toddler - they're not, for some unfathomable reason, even breaking the law.
I think maybe it's so their mum's don't find out what they've been doing.

At least the Ku Klux Klan are nice n safe from the virus what with the full hood masks

Every cloud..

ANOTHER BOOK OF REVELATIONS

The early morning news was full of Mr Johnson's highly egocentric comments about how he almost died - well, 50/50 - and somehow managed to raise himself from the dead. Significantly that was close to the time in the calendar of the Resurrection. For all of his evident incapacity, he was in for some luck and by virtue of that luck we the humble public are now awash with it. This is to say that in some parallel multi-million pound manger, even a baby was able to be born. A boy, obviously, so all of our problems are solved. About five hours of that stuff. Enough time to take it all in while consuming breakfast. Ill-named these days, of course. Everyone is on a permanent fast given no access to deliveries. Still, an old stale bit of bread and dripping should 'elp with the terrorisation and wotnot to take some weight 'orfft.

BOGOF

Then, once that leader as it were went, the new one arrived, just before what we used to call luncheon. It was about, erm, can you check Sarnde? I'm making a rake-it-in loadsamoney commercial while putting the bins out, just like the average geezer bloke I am 'oo lives in a nifty little Sandbanks carrrstle. Oh yus. That's right. The noo leader was about Mr Johnson. Two for the price as one. Bogof. Whack-a mole. Conservatism isn't working. People in long queues outside the dole office. Not a bleetin' six foot distance between any of 'em. Time to crack the old whip even if it f**ks their heads in. Get someone like Saatchi and Saatchi to piss more money we haven't got down the drain on a poster and wireless blitz.

WHACK-A-MOLE/THE ENEMY WITHIN

Whack-a-mole.

Yep. Not quite guacamole, eh Sarnde? What that prat Mandelson mistook for mushy peas. Nah. Whacking all the public to get off their arses that they were told to sit on in the first place. What a laugh. And a mole. Ain't that like a thing that is buried in a hole because that's its home and it has been told not to exercise? And, yeah, I know, he's kind of been sitting around so long that he can see right through any shit and may be a bit enemy like because of it. Almost a spy. Do you think that is how Johnson's viewing the entire population, Sarnde? Like the enemy? It's that way acrorst to me, a bit like we thought of Brighton and Hove when I was more Eddie Howe than he is. Except now every one of us is to be labelled the enemy within. I say us. It's more them, ain't it, until the bloody revolution. It sounds, tho', like he thinks it's coming.

Interesting article from ex-Supreme Court judge, Lord Sumption, on the current situation.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/debate/article-8281007/Former-Supreme-Court-judge-LORD-SUMPTION-gives-withering-critique-Governments-lockdown.html

That was the month before last.
He might have changed his mind since then.
But then again, probably not.
As the article states "He stood by his views despite all of the evidence and advice shared by medical experts across the UK."

Quote: Lazzard @ 3rd May 2020, 4:03 PM

That was the month before last.

Sorry. I attached the wrong link. Correct (& up-to-date) one on there now.

I was right , he hasn't changed his mind.

When the come over like that you simply have to head them in :P

Walk a mile?
Wank a vole?
Mock a whale?
F**k em all?

No, I still don't feel that I've totally understood the comprehensive strategy.

The only things I did get were the indefinite paternal leave away from anything resembling politics, a full speed ahead on the essential Northern Ireland to Scotland bridge for completion before 2097 and the installation of a permanent media camera under the sheets of the Johnson/Symonds bed so that they can continue to keep in touch with the general public.

Overnight I undertook my in-depth highly scientific, technical study into the lifespan of every single virologist in history. It turns out that they all dropped dead at the age of 77 from something entirely unrelated to any virus. While it isn't the most terrible of results, my equivalent study into really stupid people entitled "Never Mind the Fuhrers, Here's the Village Idiots" showed that specimens in this cohort all lived to 93. These two ground-breaking studies in which I have sequenced my findings with the use of a duck-billed platypus and a totally invented language I have called DDNNA are now published on Instaface. Copies can also be obtained from Professor Ada G Birdbrain and my pet solar system, Sidney the Toadstool.

Quote: Lazzard @ 3rd May 2020, 9:45 PM

I was right , he hasn't changed his mind.

Why would he?

Image

Jesy Nelson from Little Mix pictured at home recently.

I wonder how she's keeping herself entertained during lockdown?

Quote: Rood Eye @ 4th May 2020, 11:04 AM
Image

Jesy Nelson from Little Mix pictured at home recently.

I wonder how she's keeping herself entertained during lockdown?

Push-ups?

She's wearing at least two things that would make for a decent home made face mask and is irresponsibly using neither of them for her nose and her mouth. I bet she still has her central heating on too.

Ahem.Those salt and pepper grinders look well used.:) She must be handy in the kitchen.

The lockdown appears to be having a detrimental effect on a great many people.

As might be expected, however, different people are suffering from different detrimental effects.

The biggest effect on me is the disruption of sleep patterns.

I sometimes find myself going to bed ridiculously late or getting up ridiculously early.

I've never suffered the latter disruption immediately after the former - because that would be "not going to bed at all"!

That hasn't happened to me - yet.