British Comedy Guide

Newsjack Series 13 Page 15

Newsjack. Copyright: BBC.

Newsjack

Topical satirical sketch show on Radio 4 Extra. The programme has an 'open door' policy allowing anyone to submit material

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IlDustino

  • Thursday 1st October 2015, 7:03pm
  • London, England
  • 41 posts
Quote: Blinkered @ 1st October 2015, 6:56 PM BST

Well done to all who got the good e-mail this week. Did any of you do a sketch/one liner about the demo outside Cereal Killer restaurant?

I submitted a sketch about the cereal killer cafe demo, or rather, an activist meeting discussing how to kick hipsters out of Shoreditch (and why Shoreditch was targetted). I don't know if it got used.

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steve by any other name

  • Thursday 1st October 2015, 7:23pm
  • Northampton, England
  • 832 posts

Congratulations everyone. Nothing for me this week. Ooo, that could be my catch phrase. Like I need another catch phrase.

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Bonzo

  • Thursday 1st October 2015, 7:31pm
  • London, England
  • 835 posts

Thanks Steve, Chris and Blinkered, no idea what we've got on but suspect it's the Morrissey oneliner, our sketches were wombles cannabis forest, Sepp Blatter does Strictly and an advert about Labour's new vegan shadow farming minister. :)

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Chris Hallam

  • Thursday 1st October 2015, 10:30pm [Edited]
  • Exeter, United Kingdom
  • 540 posts

No joy for me since a one liner about Piers Morgan in episode one.
Submitted a joke comparing Labour to the lunar eclipse and two others this week but no success. Pleased to have got on on my first attempt anyway. Well done everyone this week!

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Nogget

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 6:38am
  • England
  • 6,622 posts

Mine was the Zookeeper sketch, or at least, the premise was; they only left about a third of the original lines in.
Interesting that they took out the word 'bitch', was that too strong for them?

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Bonzo

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 7:33am
  • London, England
  • 835 posts
Quote: Nogget @ 2nd October 2015, 6:38 AM BST

Mine was the Zookeeper sketch, or at least, the premise was; they only left about a third of the original lines in.
Interesting that they took out the word 'bitch', was that too strong for them?

Well done Nogget, very funny sketch!

Ours was the first sketch about the meat patches.

:)

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Bonzo

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 8:18am
  • London, England
  • 835 posts

Nogget - just seen that your sketch is on the Newsjack website! :D

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Nogget

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 8:47am
  • England
  • 6,622 posts
Quote: Bonzo @ 2nd October 2015, 7:33 AM BST

Well done Nogget, very funny sketch!

Ours was the first sketch about the meat patches.

:)

Well done, very good! I fancy a pigarette now...

Quote: Bonzo @ 2nd October 2015, 8:18 AM BST

Nogget - just seen that your sketch is on the Newsjack website! :D

Oh yes, thanks for the heads-up. I see they've edited it to 01.56, which I think means I was 5 seconds away from earning an extra minute's worth of cash.

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Chris Hallam

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 8:58am
  • Exeter, United Kingdom
  • 540 posts

Here are my rejected one liners from this week. Any suggestions welcome! (well, most suggestions anyway...)

An opinion poll has revealed that 52% of us believe in the existence of aliens. A further poll suggests that 98% of Daily Mail readers think that aliens are already here and that the lazy green bastards should bloody well get a proper job or go back where they came from.

Observers in Brighton were astounded to see a rare natural phenomenon this week which caused the Labour Party to briefly appear much larger than usual and to go redder than it has done at any time since about 1981. The sight is unlikely to last long, however, due to heat from The Sun. And The Daily Mail.

Close examination of footage by Nazi dictator Adolf Hitler has revealed he began every speech with the phrase, "You know, I'm not racist but..."

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Nogget

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 10:40am
  • England
  • 6,622 posts

I've just had the invitation to the Writer's Room, which sounds like fun.

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Bonzo

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 11:05am
  • London, England
  • 835 posts
Quote: Nogget @ 2nd October 2015, 10:40 AM BST

I've just had the invitation to the Writer's Room, which sounds like fun.

Congratulations Nogget, yes it is great fun!! Enjoy!

:D

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notjosh

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 1:06pm
  • England
  • 41 posts
Quote: Blinkered @ 1st October 2015, 6:56 PM BST

Well done to all who got the good e-mail this week. Did any of you do a sketch/one liner about the demo outside Cereal Killer restaurant?

I got a recorded-but-cut e-mail for this Viewsjack:

"I'm glad protesters attacked that hipster cereal cafe. Why would you pay five pounds for something of no nutritional value which is half the price in a supermarket? Anyway, I'm off for a pint."

Congrats to the rest of you.

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martinw

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 1:13pm
  • Scotland
  • 39 posts
Quote: notjosh @ 2nd October 2015, 1:06 PM BST

"I'm glad protesters attacked that hipster cereal cafe. Why would you pay five pounds for something of no nutritional value which is half the price in a supermarket? Anyway, I'm off for a pint."

That's a really good joke.

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LippyAlison

  • Friday 2nd October 2015, 1:21pm
  • London, England
  • 228 posts
Quote: Nogget @ 2nd October 2015, 6:38 AM BST

Mine was the Zookeeper sketch, or at least, the premise was; they only left about a third of the original lines in.
Interesting that they took out the word 'bitch', was that too strong for them?

I was at the recording and in the pick-ups Nish ended up having a discussion with the audience seeking alternatives to the word "tosser" which featured in a recorded sketch but then presumably the producers got cold feet. Not surprisingly "wanker" was dismissed but interestingly "slag" was preferred. This is not unusual from my own experience of compliance and there never seems to be a single answer but it does provide some of the more bizarre discussions in production.

That doesn't quite address your question Nogget but my point is it was too strong then but might not be next time! And for other writers it's not worth fretting too much about whether a word is too strong because they'll adjust it if they like the sketch.