'The hundred-year-old man who climbed out of the window and disappeared.'

Quote: Tim Azure @ 25th January 2014, 8:48 AM GMT

Oldrocker's finally wrote his autobiography?

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Quote: Kenneth @ 22nd January 2014, 2:54 PM GMT

One of the pleasures of reading Billy Bunter is the liberal use of the word "ejaculate" in the days before it was hijacked by the medical community as a euphemism for jizz coming out of a man's dick.

I never snigger when I read the word "gay" in Blyton because gay means bright and jolly, whereas "ejaculate" in Bunter invariably elicits a chuckle. Such as in the following sentence from Bunter the Caravaner:

Apparently it was something in that letter which caused Quelch to ejaculate so suddenly and emphatically.

Superb.

Another pleasure of Bunter is Frank Richards' references to classical Roman authors. There's a lovely passage about Lucretius in Bunter Out of Bounds. I had to study Lucretius in my final two years of Latin - he was the Richard Dawkins of his day, but less prosaic.

Lucretius lay unheeded on the table ... begins one sentence. Had me in spasms, I'm afraid.

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Do you have the whole one hundred or so? I am about twenty short at present. Currently on Bunter The Lion Tamer.

Quote: Tim Azure @ 25th January 2014, 8:48 AM GMT

Oldrocker's finally wrote his autobiography?

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Quote: Tim Azure @ 25th January 2014, 8:48 AM GMT

Oldrocker's finally wrote his autobiography?

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Have some respect young man.

I didn't fight a war so that people could say things like that. (It's true, I didn't fight a war!)

Seems to me we need to get back to old standards when you could leave your baby outside a shop holding a pound note and fully expect it to still be there when you came out (the baby, not the pound note)

Autobiography? Hmm . . would I have to get clearance from three ex wives do you suppose?

Hmm . . .

Old rocker - My Struggle

Quote: lofthouse @ 25th January 2014, 9:35 PM GMT

Old rocker - My Struggle

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And when it is released in Germany?

Quote: lofthouse @ 25th January 2014, 9:35 PM GMT

Old rocker - My Struggle

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The Wolf of Wolverhampton

Quote: Oldrocker @ 25th January 2014, 9:40 PM GMT

And when it is released in Germany?

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Invade Poland

Quote: Marc P @ 25th January 2014, 11:57 AM GMT

Do you have the whole one hundred or so? I am about twenty short at present. Currently on Bunter The Lion Tamer.

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I had no idea there were so many. I have only 52, including eight Bessie Bunters. I don't have Bunter the Lion Tamer. Just finished Bunter The Stowaway, which included some amusing dialogue from the Jewish shopkeeper Lazarus, and a good scene with the owl attempting to engage in some gambling in a casino in Nice. Could have been inspired by James Bond with all the international espionage going on. Coker of the Fifth plays a good cameo in helping to thwart the attempted theft of a 'Mink' vase from Quelch.

Jim Henson's biography.

Quote: keewik @ 24th January 2014, 11:34 PM GMT

'The hundred-year-old man who climbed out of the window and disappeared.'

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Excellant choice lady, a very enjoyable read.

When commencing the Bunter cannon with Billy Bunter of Greyfriars a few months ago, my impression was "infantile crap with a pathetic plot". Yet these simple books are becoming more addictive than shite soap operas, cheap vodka or HBO serials (because they require zero exertion of the reader's grey matter - apart from the occasional appearances of old words, classical references and Latin phrases).

Most recently read Lord Billy Bunter, which contains a character named Arthur Augustus 'Gussy' D'Arcy (of the Fourth Form at rival school St. Jim's). He is the funniest character to inhabit the Bunterverse. He is a monocled toff and speaks with a lisp. Because of the lisp, I pictured him as a young Terrance Dicks. The following telephone conversation between Gussy and Quelch (master of the Lower Fourth Form of Greyfriars - seeking information on the missing Billy Bunter) is good stuff. Not a patch on Wodehouse or Ayn Rand, but amusing. (Obviously funnier if reading the book thus far to get the mood and context, as Gussy has had a shit day, having been caught in torrential rain, covered in mud and getting thrashed by an American gangster.)

I am sowwy-!' began Arthur Augustus, into the transmitter. He was about to say that he was sorry he could give no news of Bunter: but he was interrupted by a sharp bark.

'Is that D'Arcy?'

'Yaas, sir. I-.'

'You are the junior boy whom Bunter, of this school, proposed to visit this afternoon?'

'Yaas, sir. But-.'

'This is Bunter's form-master, Mr. Quelch, speaking from Greyfriars-.'

'Good-evenin', Mr. Squelch.'

'What? what? What did you say?'

'I said good-evenin', Mr. Squelch-.'

'You stupid boy-.'

'Eh?'

'My name is Quelch, not Squelch-!'

'Oh! I-I beg your pardon, Mr. Squelch-I mean Mr. Welsh-I-I-I weally mean Mr. Quelch-.'

'Kindly refrain from talking nonsense, D'Arcy. This matter is serious. Cannot you understand that it is serious for a boy to be missing from his school?' came the bark from Greyfriars.

'Yaas, wathah, sir! But-.'

'Listen to me-.'

'Oh, certainly, sir! I-.'

'Bunter was given leave to visit your school. He is known to have gone for his train. There has been no accident of any kind on the railway. Did he or did he not arrive at your school?'

'I am vewy sowwy that-.'

'Will you answer me directly, D'Arcy?'

'Bai Jove! I was goin' to say that I am vewy sowwy -indeed I wegwet vewy much-that I don't know anythin' about Buntah-.'

'Did he arrive at your school or not?' almost shrieked Mr. Quelch from his study at Greyfriars.

'He did not, sir!'

'Are you sure of this?'

'Yaas, wathah! You see, sir, I was out all the aftahnoon-.'

'You were out all the afternoon?' repeated Mr. Quelch.

'Yaas, sir! I was goin' ovah to Carcwoft on my bike, and I was caught in the wain-.'

These details, it appeared, did not interest the Greyfriars master. Another bark interrupted Arthur Augustus. 'Kindly keep to the point. D'Arcy.'

'Weally, Mr. Squelch-I mean Quelch-.'

'You say you were out all the afternoon. How then can you be sure that Bunter did not arrive at the school during your absence? Will you try to make me a sensible answer, D'Arcy, or will you not try to make me a sensible answer?'

Arthur Augustus breathed rather hard. But he realised that the Greyfriars master was anxious about a missing member of his form. He answered mildly. 'My fwiends were lookin' out for him, sir! They were goin' to have him to tea in the study if he came. But he never came.'

'Then Bunter has not been seen at your school today?'

'Wathah not, sir.'

'You have heard nothing from him?'

'Nothin' at all, sir.'

'You know nothing of him?'

'Sowwy, sir, no. But pewwaps I may be allowed to make a suggestion, sir, if he has not weturned to school-.'

'What? what? What do you mean, D'Arcy?'

'Pewwaps he changed into the w'ong twain, sir, and awwived somewhah else,' suggested Arthur Augustus. 'I have done such things myself, sir, I wemembah once gettin' into the w'ong twain at the w'ong station, sir, and it was an expwess, and instead of awwivin' at Bwighton I awwived at Cwewe-.'

'You are a stupid boy, D'Arcy.'

'Weally, sir-.'

'A very stupid boy-.'

'Bai Jove!'

'That is all!' snapped the voice from the other end. Mr. Quelch, at Greyfriars, had apparently had enough of Arthur Augustus D'Arcy, at S1, Jim's. The feeling was reciprocal. Arthur Augustus had certainly had enough of Mr. Quelch. He handed the receiver back to Mr. Railton, and retired from the telephone.

Excellent, Kenneth! I've got that book. Bunter was the author of his own misfortunes, as ever - I remember that he "borrowed" Lord Maulever's clothes to make an impression on D'Arcy, and was kidnapped by an American gangster, thinking the Owl was the schoolboy earl. There's a splendid illustration on the front of Bunter in top hat and tails.

I've been rereading Alice through the Looking Glass. Marvellous, timeless tale, meticulously planned, with every chapter corresponding to a move in a game of chess, which Carroll printed at the beginning. At the end is a moving little poem, the initial letters of each line spelling Alice's name: Alice Pleasance Liddell.

Quote: beaky @ 6th February 2014, 4:16 PM GMT

I've been rereading Alice through the Looking Glass. Marvellous, timeless tale, meticulously planned, with every chapter corresponding to a move in a game of chess, which Carroll printed at the beginning. At the end is a moving little poem, the initial letters of each line spelling Alice's name: Alice Pleasance Liddell.

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I picked up this book a few years ago in a second-hand store: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Lewis-Carroll-Numberland-Fantastical-Mathematical/dp/0141016108
Not as easy reading (for maths dunces) as Simon Singh's books, but instructive.