Lost my anal cherry. Cracking!

My mother's gone Catholic. Holy cow.

What's the difference between cheques and boobs? You don't like it when cheques bounce.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 20th August 2022, 9:11 AM

What's the difference between cheques and boobs? You don't like it when cheques bounce.

View original

It's been years since I last saw one.

Quote: Tiggy @ 21st August 2022, 4:18 PM

It's been years since I last saw one.

View original

As the Banker allegedly said to the Actress ?

What's the difference between boobs and bombs? You don't like bouncing bombs.

I take my hat off to the feminist movement.
They don't like it though.

My dad has a penis growing out of his head. But he keeps it under his hat.

"Pasta one-liner wins best joke award at Edinburgh festival fringe"

Awful pun, that I'm not going to repeat- standards are slipping.

Did you write it Michael?

I did actually have that joke in a skit once.
Yeah, poor turn out this year. Part of the trouble is that routines are cumulative experiences and they have to extract one-liners. Still, very weak this time around.

Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 22nd August 2022, 12:51 PM

I did actually have that joke in a skit once.
Yeah, poor turn out this year. Part of the trouble is that routines are cumulative experiences and they have to extract one-liners. Still, very weak this time around.

View original

Wow. We agree again! ?

I said to Phil Collins, What's the difference between teenage boys and love? He said, Love don't come easy.

Freddie Mercury trying half-castrations. I say, 'Is it fun?' He says, 'I'm having such a good time. I'm having a ball.'

Anal. Proof you CAN polish a turd.

I lost my virginity, thank f**k.