When my wife said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.
Tell us a joke Page 142
Quote: Biscuit777 @ 8th January 2016, 10:16 AM GMTWhen my wife said she was leaving because of my obsession with The Monkees, I thought she was joking.
And then I saw her face.
My dad keeps lecturing me about my Madonna obsession. I said, Papa, don't preach.
(Sorry if I posted before.)
In his later years my grandad believed he was a chicken.
Tragically, he left a lot of questions unanswered when he died crossing the road.
What's a Grecian urn?
Nowhere near as much as a Scouser.
What is the difference between Donald Trump, Kanye West and Kim Kardashians vagina?
Two of them are c**ts and the other is a vagina.
Quote: playfull @ 9th January 2016, 1:25 AM GMTWhat is the difference between Donald Trump, Kanye West and Kim Kardashians vagina?
Two of them are c**ts and the other is a vagina.
What's the differwence between a hysterctomy and a member of One Direction? A hysterectomy is not a complete c**t.
According to a study, anything that comes in a wrapper is unhealthy. So I stopped using condoms.
Come and see. That's porn in reverse.
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 9th January 2016, 4:17 PM GMTCome and see. That's porn in reverse.
I like the short ones. (My girlfriend said)
My dad strips, then masturbates so hard his helmet hurts. He's, like, uh, bare with a sore head.
Fair play to Rupert Murdoch in getting engaged to Jerry Hall.
He's finally found someone who enjoys f**king people for money as much as he does.
Quote: Nick81 @ 12th January 2016, 9:13 AM GMTFair play to Rupert Murdoch in getting engaged to Jerry Hall.
He's finally found someone who enjoys f**king people for money as much as he does.
That's awesome!
When it was topical I has a stand-up line: 'First tribute to Mrs Thatcher came from Berlusconi... He f**ked with miners too.'
Quote: Michael Monkhouse @ 12th January 2016, 11:06 AM GMTThat's awesome!
When it was topical I has a stand-up line: 'First tribute to Mrs Thatcher came from Berlusconi... He f**ked with miners too.'
Nice.
True story.
When I was born my mother said she'd treat me like any other man in her life. And it's true. When I was born I was floundering in her pussy... As she gasped for breath... With people watching. And they applauded when I finally did come.