Just getting started actually

Good luck. Sorry I couldn't help (thank goodness says Scott) but it looks good!

Quote: Ed Parnell @ July 5, 2007, 12:11 AM

I just wanted to see how I could develop things organically, because that's how I like to work. The dialogue isn't fixed. I just wanted to try out a few things and see how they sit.

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That's cool.

Been following your thread with interest. Just a thought [you can tell me to sod off if you want but do it quietly as you may wake the kids] Make it Antony who has the problem [I take it he works in the bar as well] and reverse it. ie you've got to sort yourself out. It's affecting your work. Your rude to the customers. Your hands don't stop shaking. Your slurring your words and you look like shit. If you don't start drinking again soon you're fired!

Sod off! No, actually you're right. It should be Antony who has the drinking problem.

sounds interesting. Can you send it to me?

cheers

Hi, I think it would be best to stay withthe original idea of Ben being the straight man, he is pretty decent, hardworking person, he has flaws but none too obvious, as I've said before he is the calm in the centre of the storm and most of the storm is generated by his brother Antony. It is Antonys character who takes on the persona of Barsteward from the sketch script, it is he who has the all the crazt ideas to get customer, such as becoming the Pied Piper at a AA meeting and leading people back to the pub where Ben has pulled off a successful sophicated party, it is Antony who has Umpa Lumpa like creatures in the cellar who are at his command when he plays his magical flute and then they go off to do his evil deeds.

I was going to give Antony the talking gay penis, then I was going to give that to Ben but that goes too much against his character and threatens his status as the straight man (straight as in unwacky), I think Father Zack (the priest barman) should have the talking gay penis

Does the penis have to be gay? Maybe it can just be cheeky and pretends to be gay just to annoy his owner?

Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd write!!

Quote: earman2009 @ July 8, 2007, 1:04 PM

Does the penis have to be gay? Maybe it can just be cheeky and pretends to be gay just to annoy his owner?

Now there's a sentence I never thought I'd write!!

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Maybe it's noe of those penises which is very effeminate. Wouldn't there be more mileage in it seeming or hinting being gay without actually being overtly gay?

I think that was mentioned a bit earlier on, every now and again it kinda hints that way and kinda freaks Ben out. At other times he rescues his master from certain disaters, like when Ben is totally drunk and is about to be taken advantaged of by a grotesque old fat woman out on the prowl for drunken young men, his penis literally pulls him away and throws him out of a window

I basically don't want Ben yelling "I've got a gay penis". I want Ben to be aware of what his penis is upto. Maybe he could have similar relationship with his penis as he does with Antony?

Agreed, he is quietly tormented, almost like voices in his head, he isnt going to shout it out, he wants to keep it a secret. This is more of a reoccuring joke that pops up now and again, it isn't a main trait of his character, a bit of a sub plot

Do you think we've got the characters sussed now? Do you think we can move on to te plot or should we continue to focus on the characters for another bit?

I think we know who the characters are, whats the story we'll follow, or more so the sub plots cos the main story I thought we'd go with Son moving to coast to take over the family pub and trying to turn it around.

Ben is trying to prepare for the opening of the pub. He's interviewing useless applicants for the bartender's job. Anthony is at the AA meeting. The Priest is trying to get his girlfriend to dump him. When she finally does, he feels great. Good to be free from her. Unfortunately, she ends up getting the job at the pub, because the priest's never told her that he works there too. Anthony then returns from the AA meeting pied piper style and ruins things even though he's actually trying to help. Plus, maybe there's a penis that pretends to be gay!

Something along those lines for the first plot?