Whenever the local news shows a school in East London and every single pupil in the class is an ethnic. Now before you explode in self righteous indignation, here out my reasoning why this pisses me off -

I live in East London, there are lots of new whiteys, many of them middle class, the kind of people who would be the first to speak out against racism or praise inclusion and social harmony. They also have children - white, middle class children.

So why is the school near them made up entirely of ethnics? It's not representative of the local population. It seems the same people who mourned Mandela are practising the most cynical form of apartheid when it comes to their kid's school places.

Hypocritical bigotry at it's finest.

You tell'em!

A friend of mine has just wished her dog Happy Birthday on Facebook. The zombie apocalypse can't come soon enough, we have to wipe clean and start over.

Writing a load of stuff within a document, without realising that this f**k-stain key was inadvertently pressed while pressing a proper key earlier (like backspace).

I've never knowingly made use of the c**ting insert key.

They should replace it with a "stop being shit" key on all ASUS laptops.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 4th March 2014, 1:49 PM GMT

A friend of mine has just wished her dog Happy Birthday on Facebook.

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That's really lovely. Really really lovely! Burn them with fire.

Quote: Renegade Carpark @ 4th March 2014, 1:49 PM GMT

A friend of mine has just wished her dog Happy Birthday on Facebook. The zombie apocalypse can't come soon enough, we have to wipe clean and start over.

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At least she didn't post this:

This makes me hate humans; Kyle Grey especially...

Quote: SimonWing @ 4th March 2014, 2:31 PM GMT

Writing a load of stuff within a document, without realising that this f**k-stain key was inadvertently pressed while pressing a proper key earlier (like backspace).

I've never knowingly made use of the c**ting insert key.

They should replace it with a "stop being shit" key on all ASUS laptops.

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It's been there since the IBM PC was invented.

Facebook rant continued...

'I can't believe it was a year ago the Lord took you from us. Miss you so much mum xxx'

Replies

'I'm so sad for you x'

'She was a lovely person'

F**k right off I say. I mean who cares, who wants to know? I don't. It's like they're so needy. 'Please have sympathy for me', WHY? Cos you're a whimpering cow that's why.

Harsh.

Quote: billwill @ 4th March 2014, 3:26 PM GMT

It's been there since the IBM PC was invented.

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They should at least re-name it "insert, while deleting a twat-load of other stuff"

Quote: SimonWing @ 4th March 2014, 4:21 PM GMT

They should at least re-name it "insert, while deleting a twat-load of other stuff"

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It should be called the overwrite key. Then I wouldn't hate it.

Quote: roscoff @ 4th March 2014, 3:34 PM GMT

Facebook rant continued...

'I can't believe it was a year ago the Lord took you from us. Miss you so much mum xxx'

Replies

'I'm so sad for you x'

'She was a lovely person'

F**k right off I say. I mean who cares, who wants to know? I don't. It's like they're so needy. 'Please have sympathy for me', WHY? Cos you're a whimpering cow that's why.

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"Sometimes God chooses the most special, wonderful people on earth, and brings them up to heaven to be near him as his most-cherished angels "

Quote: roscoff @ 4th March 2014, 3:34 PM GMT

Facebook rant continued...

'I can't believe it was a year ago the Lord took you from us. Miss you so much mum xxx'

Replies

'I'm so sad for you x'

'She was a lovely person'

F**k right off I say. I mean who cares, who wants to know? I don't. It's like they're so needy. 'Please have sympathy for me', WHY? Cos you're a whimpering cow that's why.

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In most cases, their dead Mum wasn't even on Facebook, didn't know how to use the Internet and thought the web was for looking at child porn, making terrorists or encouraging teenagers to commit suicide.

But luckily, now that the old dead bint is up in heaven, Jesus is showing her how to access social media via the Holy iPad. Maybe if these people had spent more time talking to their parents when they were alive, instead of ignoring them to go on Facebook, they wouldn't have to write these overly trite, guilt ridden messages on FB. The twats.

Quote: SimonWing @ 4th March 2014, 4:26 PM GMT

"Sometimes God chooses the most special, wonderful people on earth, and brings them up to heaven to be near him as his most-cherished angels "

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But only in bird form - anything else would be weird.

Here's a good way to get people to read your status updates - write something funny or interesting you boring c**ts.