Will Cam fell a horse at a tournament. The riding instructor wasn't bothered but the Gymnastics teacher was furious.

When Bill Jaguar drinks 7Up he becomes Gabby Agbonlahor. He plays Aston villa matches and then goes home, drinks Dr Pepper and becomes Bill Jaguar again.

Snork bought Greenwich Mean Time and sold it to an American.

Will Cam made his fortune selling mirkins to retired strippers.

Big Jack once threw an elephant into an abatoir just to be with the cool kids.

Bill Jaguar Has a cat with a hair lip called Bastard.

Will Cam once won a crate of Stella in a swingers raffle.

Corey O'Graffor has wooed many a drunken sailor with his gentle crooning of Iron Maiden's Run to the Hills.

Bill Jaguar moonlights as a table cloth at Greasy Joe's.

Big Jack couldn't tell a lie even if he wanted to. He was born without vocal chords or limbs and the rest of his body got lost in the post.

A mouse lived in a windmill in Old Amsterdam.

Bill Jaguar f*cked it.

Big Jack was knife last night. It is rumoured to be an incident similar to the concept of Chekhov's gun. He should have seen it coming really.

Mr William Jaguar is the worlds largest tree.

Brian Brain's brother, Brew Brain, brought Brian Brain's broker, Bryoni Brain brilliant broad beans.

**He f**king well did**

Will came on Ben Venu.