David Mitchell is joined by guests Lucy Porter, Marcus Brigstocke, Richard Osman and Ria Lina who are obliged to talk with deliberate inaccuracy on subjects as varied as the French, bans, hippos, and superstition.

The Truths

Marcus Brigstocke - Bans

- You can't say "manhole" in parts of California. In 2019, the city of Berkeley banned the term for being sexist and patriarchal, replacing it with "maintenance hole". Found by Ria.

- Donald Trump was banned from Sheffield. Lord Mayor Magid Magid during a city council meeting in 2018. He then declared on Twitter: "I, Magid Magid, Lord Major & first citizen of this city hereby declare that not only is Donald J. Trump a wasteman, but he is also henceforth banned from the great city of Sheffield!" Found by Lucy.

- North Korea has banned sarcasm, to prevent descent against the country's regime. Successfully smuggled.

- The French Boxing Federation banned kissing in the ring, specifically at the end of a boxing match. Successfully smuggled.

- In China, you are not allowed to swell the number of mourners at funerals by booking strippers. By tradition, strippers are hired to perform at funerals, supposedly to give the deceased a good send-off, and to attract more mourners. In 2015, following reports of obscene performances at funerals in the east of the country, as well as scenes of strippers inviting mourners on stage and removing their clothes, the Ministry of Culture banned the practice. Successfully smuggled.

Lucy Porter - The French

- Drug-assisted cycling is popular in France, in the sense that the Tour de France has had countless drug scandals ever since it began. Found by Marcus. Accidentally included by Lucy.

- Boule has been the victim of boule hooliganism or "bouliganism". "Bouliganisme" has affected both boule and petanque, but it involves the players fighting rather than spectators. Found by Marcus.

- Although not enforced, until 2013 it was illegal for women to wear trousers in Paris. A law introduced in 1800 stated that women needed to have the permission of the police to wear them. By 1909, women were allowed to wear trousers, but only if they were holding bicycle handlebars or the reigns of a horse. Found by Marcus.

- In the 1950s, the Etch A Sketch was invented by Frenchman Andre Cassagnes. The early modle was controlled by a joystick, but it was redesigned to have turning knobs, so it looked like a TV set. Found by Marcus.

- There are no "Stop" signs in Paris. The city only has traffic lights. Paris did have one Stop sign, at the exit of a construction facility, but because of the sign's fame, it was stolen so often that in 2016 the government stopped replacing it. Found by Ria.

- Croissants were invented in Austria. Successfully smuggled.

Ria Lina - Superstition

- According to Irish superstition, if you are in the company of two pregnant women and you don't want to become pregnant yourself, you should slap your backside three times. Found by Marcus.

- In Zimbabwe, they believe that if you are kidnapped by a mermaid and your family sheds even a single tear, you will never return. Found by Richard.

- According to medieval superstition, a woman could recover her virginity by giving birth to seven illegitimate children. Successfully smuggled.

- Tuesday 13th is traditionally seen as unlucky in Greece, the main reason being that Constantinople fell into the hands of western crusaders on Tuesday 13th April 1204. Successfully smuggled.

- Colin Farrell always wears the same pair of shamrock boxer shorts on the first day of shooting a new film. Successfully smuggled.

Richard Osman - Hippopotamuses

- Hippos cannot swim. They are too dense to float, so they walk on the beds of bodies of water. Found by Marcus.

- Hippos have put on a bit of weight over time. Fossil records show that the first hippos much more slender than their modern descendents. They were about the size of an overgrown sheep and weighed just a few hundred pounds. Today, the skin from a hippo can weigh as much as a tonne. Found by Marcus.

- Hippo milk is bright pink. It is normally white, but hippos secrete an oily liquid called "blood sweat" that makes it pink. Found by Marcus.

- Rory Bremner once impersonated the mating call of a male hippo. His wife, the sculptor Tessa Campbell Fraser, was once sketching hippos in Kenya for preparation of making a hippo sculpture, and need a picture of a hippo exposing its teeth. Bremner helped by doing the mating call, tricking the hippos into thinking there was another male trying to attract their female. Upon hearing Bremner, the hippos showed their teeth in a threatening manner. Successfully smuggled.

- "Hippopotomonstrosesquippedaliophilia" means, "a love of long words". Successfully smuggled.

Scores

- Marcus Brigstocke: 7 points
- Ria Lina: -2 points
- Richard Osman: -4 points
- Lucy Porter: -6 points