Series 5, Episode 4 - It's Good To Talk
Even though Brian is trying to sleep, he is unable to as Clare has been going on about being poked via a social networking site. Michael Oliver is a university friend of Clare's who hasn't seen her for fifteen years. Clare was his first friend. Clare is so exited she invites him around to her and Brian's home. Michael however says he has a reason for contacting Clare and will tell her once they meet. Since Brian and Clare are awake, Brian bluntly asks 'why don't we have sex?' Clare says it is late and she is tired and goes to sleep. Brian whispers: 'Works every time.'
At work, Helen is using the office computers to go on online chatrooms. Megan's daughter Brenda is approaching her 3rd birthday and needs help writing the legal disclaimer after last year. Helen happily agrees to help. The boy did get his sight back.
Meanwhile at school, Brian asks Simon whether his relationship with Nali is getting any better. He says they have settled into 70% okay and 30% irritating, bad and unbearable. He figured out the percentages from reading an article in Playboy. Since then Brian has been transfixed with relating his relationship with Clare to percentages.
In a team meeting, Irene tells the group that she wants everyone to have a "what do you think of me?" session where they let out everything they think about Irene as she is planning on introducing meditation lessons. She promises she will not be offended by the comments. Clare is about to speak until Irene starts shouting and complaining and goes to her office slamming the door.
Later that evening, Clare and Brian are waiting at home for Michael to arrive. Clare is warning Brian of things not to do such as don't look him in the eye. He is to say hello and leave. Once Michael does arrive, Brian does as told and leaves. Clare is ready for a nice chat but Michael will not stop talking and won't rest for breath. It isn't long before Clare is going crazy. Even after being out most of the evening, Brian comes back to a relived Clare who says goodnight and leaves Brian to talk to Michael. By night when they are in bed, they whisper to each other that they want him to leave.
In one of Irene's meditation sessions, a Yoga teacher is giving a lesson but Clare is asleep through its duration. Ray, Helen and Megan try to carry her out as Ray wants the room for a mouth to mouth resuscitation talk. They then decide to leave Clare on the floor. Michael has stayed with Clare and Brian for at least a week and Clare is losing out on sleep.
The next day, Helen tells Ray that she did go out with the man she met over the internet, only the 38 year old divorced commodity stockbroker turned out to be a 17 year old schoolboy. Ray says how sorry he is but Helen can't see a negative. Megan has had the school phone up saying Brenda is in trouble again for pushing Charlie in the playground. Clare misunderstands thinking Brenda found a bag and used the contents. A message has come through for Clare saying that Michael is planning on leaving without saying goodbye so Clare rushes home to catch him.
Back home Clare finds find Michael packed and ready to leave when she tells him to shut up and tell her why he came. After a lot of stuttering and changing the subject, he speaks. Ready to take Holy orders next month, Michael has a confession. During freshers, he reminds Clare of Tristan, her first love interest. While Michael was friends with them both, Clare was his first friend. Tristan fancied Clare but never said but did write it all in a letter which Michael was instructed to hand to her. Only he didn't. Michael was afraid of losing a friend if Clare went off with Tristan so he pretended to be Clare writing letters back saying she was not interested and telling him she was a lesbian. Asking what Tristan did now, Michael admitted he worked for Unicef and Barack Obama and was married to a woman called Clare. Clare (Barker) had went out with Brian on the rebound. As Michael leaves Brian returns extremely happy having realized numbers mean nothing but Clare is completely furious.
- Wednesday 11th March 2009
- BBC Radio 4
- 30 minutes
Cast & crew