I sold my old hoover on eBay recently

Well, the thing was only gathering dust anyway

Quote: lofthouse @ 13th December 2023, 6:49 PM

I sold my old hoover on eBay recently

Well, the thing was only gathering dust anyway

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Good joke, but 10 years old, with which Tim Vine won the Edinburgh Fringe joke award in 2014

I know , that bastard steals all my best gags 😋🤣

'Ere you are, use this one with which he won also in 2010...................

I've just been on a once-in-a-lifetime holiday. I'll tell you what, never again.

A men's outfitters shop near the Russian atomic power station that blew still aren't allowed to sell its stock of degraded men's underpants.

Chernobyl fall out.

When I see the police searching for a body. I can't say Cadaver Dogs without adding the part of the Muppet tune that goes Do dar dooliddle .

My Cat just tried to claim that he was King of the Household.
I Said "Usurpur!"
He said Yes sir, I do

James Cleverly has ruined the toast 'Bottoms Up'

Netanyahu, Hamas and Putin are in an airplane crash, who survives ?
The World.

Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself? Because it was two-tired!

Or.... It couldn't handle bars.

I heard it was something to do with the metal bits inside the wheel
Well according to a spokesman anway

Pumper.

"Pumper", you say?! Is that a new joke, or another suggested punchline to "Why couldn't the bicycle stand up by itself?" Either way, it's some strange shit. But I laughed, it's my humour.

I could never get into my Unicycle
I ended up in a Polycycle

Sorry
I know that one is a bit Tandom