Tell us a joke... Page 5

Storm Babet is making the roof of my aviary leak - again.
It's getting on my tits.

My local electrical shop was selling a DAB radio at the reduced price of just £5 due to it having a defective volume button.

It was such a good bargain I just couldn't turn it down.

When I was at junior school I fell in love with two other pupil's school bags, and it was then I realised I was bi-satchel.

Did you hear Edinburgh Zoo have replaced the two pandas, with two slices of sourdough? They wanted bred in captivity.

Quote: Joey Vimsante The Poet @ 21st November 2023, 1:44 PM

Did you hear Edinburgh Zoo have replaced the two pandas, with two slices of sourdough? They wanted bred in captivity.

And as we watch the tumbleweed rolling across the scene, in the distance can be heard the mournful tones of a church bell.....................

I went to a fancy dress party last night with half my face painted as a clown. Unfortunately, not everybody saw the funny side of it.

Quote: Hercules Grytpype Thynne @ 21st November 2023, 3:04 PM

And as we watch the tumbleweed rolling across the scene, in the distance can be heard the mournful tones of a church bell.....................

Tough crowd 😲😆

Quote: Billy Bunter @ 26th November 2023, 1:34 PM

I went to a fancy dress party last night with half my face painted as a clown. Unfortunately, not everybody saw the funny side of it.

Same here! Except this party was done from home over Zoom

But everyone said I wasn't 'remotely' funny

I sat completely still for six hours with just a round black piece of vinyl to look at. I wonder if that is a record?

I looked around a new property today. Very nice. The walls were covered from top to bottom with mirrors. I thought to myself I could really see myself living there.

The fire alarm went off just as I was queuing with my flat-pack in Ikea.
The tannoy said I had to assemble in the car park.

Quote: Stephen Goodlad @ 4th December 2023, 5:26 PM

The fire alarm went off just as I was queuing with my flat-pack in Ikea.
The tannoy said I had to assemble in the car park.

lol

I don't know why people persist in buying advent calendars every year. I think their days are numbered.

I've bought my 6 year old great nephew a 60 watt bulb for Christmas. He'll love it. Can't wait to see his little face light up.

I put this on a local Facebook page last year.

If there is anyone all alone and spending Christmas by themselves this year.
Can I borrow your dining chairs - we've got loads coming.

You can imagine the furore.

😆